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Bringing Home the Bacon

November 14, 2007

I'm off to work, and I'm feeling kind of bummed about it. You see, lazy crappers like me don't like to go to work. We'd rather just sit at home all day, sipping Sonic milkshakes and reflect upon how guilty we feel for not doing laundry.

I'll get my post up tonight. But in the mean time, here are a few original haikus for your reading pleasure:

I love Doritos
I would eat them every day
But it costs too much

My friend Beth is great
She babysat James last night
And gave him a bath

I don't like pork chops
Pork chops for dinner tonight
Life is very tough

One more:

Happy twenty-sixth
Have a beer for the Mormon
My dear Kristina

And now, you can go ahead and leave an original haiku in the comment section. The writers of my three favorite poems will each win a fabulous prize!

43 comments:

  1. Your blog is the best
    Doritos give me heart burn
    Now I am hungry

    ReplyDelete
  2. Amy loves her family
    She'd rather spend time with them
    Than do laundry

    Ugh! I better keep my day job!

    -Missy

    ReplyDelete
  3. Jump hop skip dance prance
    Richard Simmons in short pants
    What a manly man

    ReplyDelete
  4. My house is a disaster
    I'm behind in my work
    Maybe Amy has a new post

    ReplyDelete
  5. I don't know what you do at your job
    For all I know you could work for a snob
    You need to tell me or I will cut my hair in a bob.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Gustados are great
    Stop and Shop's imitation
    but they were recalled

    Seriously I think they may have been recalled but only for an “undeclared soy protein isolate”. I’m not sure if they’re back on the shelf yet but they’re awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Counting sylables
    is not my forte at all
    haikus are the worst

    -Jed

    ReplyDelete
  8. I suck at haiku
    And I hate to indulge you
    But I like to win

    ReplyDelete
  9. I am hungry
    So I will eat pizza
    there, thats better.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I love you
    you are the best
    you are funny

    ReplyDelete
  11. You are pretty
    more than I can describe
    you are beautiful

    ReplyDelete
  12. Wasting time at work
    So much more fun with your blog
    Keep up the good work!

    ReplyDelete
  13. James and Sophia
    They took a bath together
    Splash, spit, scream, laugh, play.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Winter is hiding in Texas
    Teasing with its breezy airs
    Stay away, for all I care!

    ReplyDelete
  15. We're having pork chops
    for supper Not as tasty
    as cheese Doritos

    ReplyDelete
  16. Fart jokes are funny.
    Poop stories are even better.
    Amy tells them all.

    You make us all laugh
    A trophy you should receive
    Blog On Mormon Friend

    ReplyDelete
  17. Amy runs and toots
    Her stealth toot was in fact LOUD
    Poor man behind her!

    ReplyDelete
  18. I have much to do
    But I would rather read blogs
    and eat some chocolate

    ReplyDelete
  19. What the heck's a haiku?
    Are the words supposed to rhyme?
    Am I doing this wrong?

    ReplyDelete
  20. Mormon potty mouth,
    Mothers who know (and can smell)
    James has poopy pants.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Love your great haikus
    Though they make one crave pork chops
    Oh well - soup again.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Thank you to dear Beth
    James likes to play in the tub
    Mom won't allow it!

    ReplyDelete
  23. I want to win prize
    Perhaps a Doritos bag
    Preferred not empty.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I don't want to cook
    Krispy Kremes for dinner
    Pork chops tomorrow

    ReplyDelete
  25. Laundry really sucks
    As well as doing dishes
    A maid I am not

    So I'll read your blog
    Hoping the clean fairy comes
    Aren't fantasies cool!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Knocked out by the smell
    Have you taken a bath yet?
    Let's wipe off the Doritos.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Walgreens almost killed my Dad
    I can't help it, I'm so mad!
    Read my blog to see what's what.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Amy's cool so cool
    That Julie Beck RS pres
    Haikus on her blog

    (is that THE Julie Beck, as in General RS President?)

    I am a runner
    I am also a Mormon
    Amy's funnier

    ReplyDelete
  29. Topher...that Julie Beck comment was just brought to my attention. I really have no idea if it's the real her or not.

    Leave it to me to not recognize the name!

    Do you think that I was really called a Mormon potty mouth by THE Julie Beck?! That would be...um...flattering?

    ReplyDelete
  30. The Lawson Family Bodily Function Haiku-based on recent posts

    Amy's full of gas
    oh no- James pooped in his pants
    and Dad's got to pee!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  31. That'd be flippin'
    Awesome if it was THE one
    Next Conference talk'll tell

    (next time "MollyMo" brings a centerpiece to RS, you can say "Oh yeah? Well Sr. Beck called me a Mormon Pottymouth! Stick that in your pipe and smoke it!"

    Can't wait to read Vanilla's haiku. Can't decide who's funnier between the two of you. Maybe you should have a blog-off to find out.

    ReplyDelete
  32. My college friend Ann
    sat on my Doritos' bag
    Where's my Sonic shake?

    (sorry, that was a repressed college memory and long story! - feel free to analyze and use it as you see fit)

    ReplyDelete
  33. lololol....thanks for the birthday shout-out Amy! :) I actually enjoyed a glass of pinot grigio...hope the substitution was okay. :)

    ReplyDelete
  34. Haikus make headaches
    I've been counting for an hour
    I deserve a prize

    ReplyDelete
  35. Failed haikus in school
    Scott Hanson was in my class
    His Wranglers fit tight

    ReplyDelete
  36. Run on the treadmill.
    Fart like a howler monkey.
    Bring joy to the world.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Working it doth suck
    May you have fast internet
    And a private desk

    ReplyDelete
  38. Farting is so cool
    But never eat yellow snow
    It is bad for you

    ReplyDelete
  39. Oh James, with your 'fro
    The perfect Richard Simmons
    In hand-sewn hot pants

    ReplyDelete
  40. YO, amy does rock
    she is the coolierest
    she is so pottiesh

    ReplyDelete
  41. I have a rumbly
    in my large spacious tumbly
    i want some hunny

    ReplyDelete
  42. I vote for amy's manly man haiku.

    ReplyDelete
  43. I drinkie wine
    From great Sonoma V
    I likey yes

    Ok, so I'm too late and I don't know anything about haikus.

    ReplyDelete