Is There a Chiropractor in the House?

December 17, 2007

Yes, it's true...I've neglected the blog. But trust me when I tell you that it's all for a good reason. You see, this was Jared's graduation weekend...finally. We had tons of family in town, Jared now goes by "Dr.", and I guess I'm just getting chunky. James is already with his grandparents in New England, Gracie has her typical stress toots, and our cross-country trek in a super-sexy Budget rental truck will commence this week.

Life has been a complete whirlwind, but rest assured, it's been a good whirlwind.

I wanted to take a few minutes and bring you all up-to-date with a photo recap of the weekend's events. It started with one hell of celebratory banquet, and it ended with a lovely graduation ceremony that continuously stressed the importance of good spinal health.


Here is a picture of Jared, his two fishing buddies boyfriends, and the wives. Don't mind the guy on the right. His name is Blake, and the moment you hold up a camera and tell him to smile he puts on that constipated face. I'm like, "Blake...they told you to look at the camera, not look like you're taking a freaking dump. Geeze!"


You know it's a classy affair when there is upholstered furniture in the ladies rest room. I don't know about you, but I always like to kick my feet up after a good hand washing.







But let's face it, no matter how swanky a party might be, men will always splatter their pee on the walls. Urine splashers get folding chairs, not Lazy Boys. Suckers.






I'm swinging from the chandelier.


















I'm mooning the City of Dallas from the 48th floor of of a downtown high rise.

















Jared was like, "Take my picture with Courtney!" I was all, "Wow, she's pretty. Sure I'll take your picture."

















Jared was like, "Take my picture with Jamie, too!" And I thought, "Wow, she's pretty, too. What does she weigh...like 120? Sure, I'll take your picture with her, too."






Then Jared said, "Hey Amy...take my picture with Missy and Nicole." And I was thinking, "Ok, now he's got two. Yes, damn it, I'll take your picture."


And then he asked me to take his picture posing with his friend named Abby. I was like, "Did you graduate with any ugly girls?"










Finally I made Jared stand next to this guy. He was all, "Amy, I barely know him. I can't even remember his last name." I said, "I don't care. Just stand next to a boy."






Here is Dr. Lawson walking across the stage at the commencement ceremony. The bald guy was like, "Listen son, if a patient ever passes some nasty-ass-rat-gas while you're adjusting her, just excuse yourself and take 100% of the blame. Trust me son, follow this advice and you'll go places."







Never tell my child that this was actually a microphone and not a pirate's spy glass--that would break his tender little heart. James was concentrating intensely, as he was hot on the trail of some "bayweed twezzah." (translastion: burried treasure)








And finally, here's the happy graduate, the super proud wife, and the unamused toddler. Look at that picture, James is like, "Oh, c'mon you stupid treasure, where are you?"

CONGRATULATIONS JARED, I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER BEEN SO PROUD!