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No Seriously, FML (Fart on My Life)

April 6, 2011

If you haven't been to the old blog in a while, I'd ask you to start by reading yesterday's post titled Fart on My Life. If you're already familiar with that post, then mmm mmm mmm, you're in for a treat.

There's good news and there's bad news, and just for the sake of keeping things exciting, I'll start with the good news.

GOOD NEWS: Thanks to a strapping combination of testosterone, persistence, and brute force, my ultra manly husband was just barely able to stretch the shrunken cover back on to the couch cushion. Yay! Go Jared!

BAD NEWS: The bad news is, well, they do say that a picture is worth a thousand words...



Fern Maggie Lawson, Artist

F to the M to the L.

24 comments:

  1. UnknownApril 06, 2011 4:55 PM

    On the bright side, even when she's crying, she's cute.

    Tomorrow will get better. It has to, right?

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  2. HeatherApril 06, 2011 4:57 PM

    Have you tried OxyClean Stain Remover? It takes out anything. Like, anything.

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  3. KarenApril 06, 2011 5:10 PM

    BAHHAAAAAAAA! Sorry.......

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  4. AmyApril 06, 2011 5:11 PM

    They're soaking in OxyClean right now....in COLD water!

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  5. Michelle GlauserApril 06, 2011 5:12 PM

    Now you can be really crafty and sew a new cover.

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  6. KimApril 06, 2011 5:17 PM

    I audibly gasped when I saw that picture. So sorry!

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  7. paigeApril 06, 2011 5:30 PM

    That's totally God telling you to buy a red couch.
    Hilarious. As usual :)

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  8. Tara MApril 06, 2011 6:07 PM

    But Maggie LOVES TO COLOR!!! And she looks really sorry:) I'm sticking with the designer couch suggestion.

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  9. GrandmaApril 06, 2011 6:17 PM

    oh no!you didn't even tell me that one on the phone...probably b/c you are getting used to it.

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  10. GrandmaApril 06, 2011 6:27 PM

    If she doesn't look like you in those pictures...is she crying b/c she got in trouble or b/c she knows she did something wrong...again?.. looked up if Crayola washable crayons and markers to see if the wash off furniture...and reviews said no. I was going to send some up to you...but on second thought...

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  11. MsDarkstarApril 06, 2011 6:30 PM

    Slipcovers...yes, there's a reason for them...

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  12. MindyApril 06, 2011 6:46 PM

    I am laughing so hard right now.

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  13. Pam @ herbieontherun.comApril 06, 2011 7:15 PM

    I'm scheduling my husband's vasectomy right now.

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  14. AmyApril 06, 2011 8:40 PM

    We have a classic family memory of when some child ruined some piece of furniture, and my mom yelled, "I was never meant to have anything nice!" My dad said, "What about me?" She didn't think it was funny.

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  15. erin j baileyApril 06, 2011 10:06 PM

    Laughing so hard! At least she doesn't use her own poop to color with like my son. I found his lovely artistry all over my carpet and wall yesterday...still trying to get it out.

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  16. Jenny P.April 07, 2011 6:15 AM

    Once, my little brother built a "fire pit" out of popsicle sticks in my parents bedroom, then set it on fire. He burned a hole right through the carpet.

    That doesn't really have anything to do with couch cushions, but I thought it might make you feel better.

    (And she really is cute.)

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  17. KristiApril 07, 2011 7:13 AM

    We were super poor when our daughter was born. SUPER poor. I didn't have any extra money to decorate a nursery, but I can paint, well enough that I used to get paid to do murals and other work. So I painted two walls with this huge floor to ceiling mural of a Classic Winnie the Pooh scene, complete with huge tree, swing, Christopher Robin and all the friends, the whole she-bang.

    Flash forward to when my child was two and she comes into the living room, repeatedly saying, "Like Mommy, mommy! Like mommy!" and then her tiny hand grasp mine and she began to pull me, giggling all the way, into my room where she had drawn all over the wall, "Like mommy." She stood there so proud of her artwork of scribbles that it was hard to be mad. I still have it on the wall; I've never painted over it. I was ashamed of it for a long time and always explained it away if someone came into our room. Now that she's ten, looking at those little two and a half foot tall scribbles in bright red, turquoise, yellow, and black, and now I actually feel a little nostalgic. (And lazy, 'cause it's been 8 years now and I still haven't managed to get my bedroom painted!)

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  18. SarahApril 07, 2011 9:38 AM

    Okay Amy, I'm sorry to have to state the obvious here....buUuut....you need to put the lipstick/markers/other permanant coloring things out of the one-year old's reach ;)

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  19. Bahston BeansApril 07, 2011 10:34 AM

    Those are such Amy faces in the last two pics! Did she try to blame Gracie or Coach?

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  20. BrianFlashApril 07, 2011 11:12 AM

    Totally easy fix - just flip over all the cushions...

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  21. fundersonApril 07, 2011 2:30 PM

    Well, heck! It was so much fun the first time...

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  22. KristaApril 07, 2011 2:39 PM

    I have found that WD-40 will get ink and sharpie out of carpet - I bet it works the same for uphostery. She is dang cute, though!

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  23. Reluctant RunnerApril 18, 2011 6:26 PM

    Man, that kid is adorable. Screw the couch.

    Dang, that's so easy to say when it's not MY couch. ;-)

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  24. Fun MamaApril 30, 2011 8:03 PM

    Thought you might enjoy this for your FML series :)
    http://www.etsy.com/listing/61693506/rude-little-black-book

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