May 26, 2007
Characters: Amy, Jared, and Jared's brother Dan
Setting: Amy and Jared's neighborhood. Amy, Jared and Dan are walking the dogs through the neighborhood before they head off to a Red Sox game in Arlington.
Dan: It's kind of muggy out. Are you gonna wear shorts Jared?
Jared: I don't need to.
Amy: Why not?
Jared: [proudly] Because I apply deodorant down there.
Amy and Dan: [in unison, sounding seriously concerned] Down where?
Jared: [casually] Oh, like all over my butt.
Amy: Oh my gosh. Jared. Do you put it in your crack?
Jared: Oh yeah. It's easy if you use the stick kind.
Amy: Seriously Jared, be careful. I've heard it can hurt if you get it on your...you know.
Dan: Uhhh no, I don't know...there's a lot of stuff down there.
Amy: [whispering] On your poop shoot.
Jared: [casually] Yeah, that kind of stings. You really just want to apply it to your entire butt region, and the back of your schnuts. Avoid the the twig all together. At all costs.
Dan: Oh man, Jared. Remind me to never use your deodorant. Seriously, if I ever ask, just say no.
Jared: Oh, no, it's cool. I used Dad's.
Amy and Dan: -silence-
Jared: Yeah, I just use Dad's. He buys the six pack of deoderant from Sam's Club, so he totally has enough to go around.