The Crisis Unraveled
October 30, 2007

Holy-mother-of-a-bum-licking-cow. I'm overwhelmed by the volume of cyber-lovin' I've received in the last couple of hours. I had no idea!

I've had several Mormon readers offer to break knee-caps and call on their mob connections on my behalf. And to me, that means so much.

One of my long-time readers, Vanilla, has threatened to go on a hunger strike until my next post. Avoiding food goes against everything I believe in, and I certainly don't want him to miss his dinner plans, so here it is, a new post with an explanation of my recent dramatics...

Yesterday I received some correspondence that hit me the wrong way. It hurt my good-old-fashioned feelings, and if you know me personally, then you know that's not so hard to do. For some reason I have an exceptionally difficult time accepting criticism, which, I should note, is the only reason that I'm not a high ranking military official. I never could have made it through those drill saergents in boot camp. I would have been mailing myself home in an army-issued envelope after sixteen minutes of their crazy yelling.

In all seriousness, I took advantage of the free counseling offered through Jared's school before I defended my graduate thesis in May. I had no idea how I could stand in front of a panel of professors, and listen to their critiques without breaking into a shower of tears, running out of the classroom, stuffing myself into the trunk of of a stranger's sedan and proclaiming "DRIVE ME INTO A RAVINE." Fortunately, the counselor gifted me with some wonderful coping skills, and my snappy black business suit remained completely free of snot that day.

Huge accomplishment.

As warped as this is, in my mind, the phrase 'constructive criticism' makes no sense. In AmyMcSeatpantLand, I've re-termed the phrase--I like to call it 'horrible people trying to make me feel like a mound of useless buffalo droppings.' Perhaps that's why I'm not employed--just a thought. That said, even to normal people, this comment was not 'constructive' by any stretch of the imagination, it came across as being really mean spirited.

I used my coping skills to remain calm, and replied to the writer personally. A few minutes later, I wrote the post asking people to cool it with the hate mail. I've been getting a few pieces of critical mail here and there, and I've kind of had enough. Pick on my parenting, my religion, my potty mouth, whatever, but puh-lease, for the love of all things chocolate, don't attack me personally for my baseball preference. Make fun of Red Sox fans if you must--we're obnoxious and we know it--but leave my innocent husband and my strength of character out of it.

Barely twenty minutes after I published that post, I had already received one abrasive comment and several critical emails. Yes I am way too sensitive, but these communications put me over the edge. It's true, I dislike Yankees fans and I really, kind of don't like Rockies fans either (as a group, NOT as individuals--duh), and for some reason, a number of people felt permission to let me know that they dislike me as a writer, not just an overzealous fan. Ouch.

And that's when I said "Enough. I'm not having fun anymore." I put myself on the line every single day to make people laugh, and I felt completely attacked.

But I'm gonna have to take Patty's (one my my very favorite reader's) advice here, and just get over it. The more popular this blog gets, the more criticism I'll receive. Such is life, and with thousands of dollars worth of individual and group therapy, I have no doubt that I'll be able to handle it moderately well. Also, I've sped the healing process along by eating three mini-bags of Doritos and fourteen chocolate chip cookies.

Thank you so much to everyone who left me a nice comment or sent a happy email my way--especially all of the lurkers out there. Each and every one of you will get to see some fabulous Richard Simmons pictures in the morning....and trust me on this, you won't be disappointed.
Wow, I'm sure glad that hiatus is over. I could barely stand it.

36 comments:

Sydney said...

Wow, I was reading up on the drama of your last few days and then you posted this post so I just have to comment! I'm a total lurker, have been for awhile. I went to HS with Sarah and found your blog through hers.

Glad you're back. You make me laugh everyday and when I need a smile, a laugh or even a snort. Your blog is the first I turn to.

Sending you happy thoughts!! You're the best!

The Ramos Family said...

I am glad you are back to writing. Seriously, I don't know what I would do without your posts to get me through nap time.

Cathy said...

Woo hoo! I was tied to your blog all day - hoping the strike would be averted! Sadly in life people seem more motivated to say bad things than good. So from now on, know that for every mean email/comment you get there are at least 77 "your rock" comments out there.

Julie said...

Yay...you're back and stronger than ever!

Anonymous said...

Whew! You need to get a white bronco! The suspence was killing me, but in the end I knew lurker love would prevail! I'm glad you couldn't stay away from us...Oh, have you ever had the Mexican Wedding Cookies at Whole Foods? OMG! I ate a box the other day after I flunked my Chem test. Now I need to decide if I'm going to drop the class. What food goes good with deciding? Glad you're back!

Robin said...

Yipeeee! Glad you are back. I promise to start commenting more often so you feel the love of the lurkers. Although, I guess if I start commenting, I won't be a lurker. Hmmmm.

I can't wait to see the Richard Simmons pics. :)

RunningCrazyAfter3 said...

Thank God for Vanilla and his threatened hunger strike!!! And I'm just really glad that you are moving up and moving on and deciding not to let nasty people bring you down. Can't wait to see little Richie Simmons :)

Mother Smuckers said...

Good because I was about to go off.


...

dietcokegrrl said...

I'm so glad Vanilla will be able to eat now...what if HE stopped writing as well due to fatigue?!

Can't wait to see James tomorrow and so glad the hiatus was short lived!!

Karin said...

I had to check back here as soon as I could. I was DE-lighted to see you did not abandon us.

mommymelb said...

Oh thank heavens! I can get back to reading you and avoiding my housework again! Bless you Amy!

krystyn said...

I'm with you...there is NO such thing as "constructive criticism" -glad ur back to blogging!!

katieo said...

Phew! Glad you're back!

Local Mental Health Professional said...

Speaking of therapy, I know you were just joking.....but if anyone in Dallas is seeking therapy but thinks they can't afford it, the medical school offers highly discounted therapy (I think the min is $10 per session), so that supervised trainees can learn. As in folks working on their psychiatric residency, or psychology PhD students. For more information: 214-648-7012

(No I don't have a financial stake, I just consider it a sort of public-service announcement).

(Yes, I am a reader of the Lawson blog, and not a random spammer, but understand if you want to take this down).

Katy and Joseph said...

Yea!!! I'm glad you're back. I can't wait to see James!

Amber said...

Glad you are back!! I can't wait to see that Richard Simmons costume. I think I have checked back here five times today to see if you had written, yet.

Sara Rebecca said...

Yay!!! I am so glad you are writing again. Can't wait to see James in his Richard Simmons costume.

Melinda said...

Yay!! Doin' the happy dance! Doin' the funky chicken! Woohoo!

cheryl said...

Atta Girl, Amy! I can personally vouch for the fact that Doritos and chocolate chip cookies will cure just about any of life's boo-boos. Glad your strike is over!

Marc and Megan said...

I'm so happy to see you're back! And, I can't wait for tomorrow to come! :)

Vanilla said...

I'm so glad you posted. I was beginning to think my hunger strike was a horrible mistake. I mean, I can miss lunch and dinner no problem, but tomorrow is steal-your-kids-candy-after-they-go-to-bed-in-the-name-of-their-health-day.

The thought of missing all that candy was killing me.

Jes said...

I have been super busy this past week, but I always find time to peek in and see if you have posted, because I know how great reading your posts make me feel. I was getting quite worried for a little while there. I will definitely keep reading! Have a wonderful day Amy!

Patty said...

That's my girl! I knew you'd see it my way, lmao. And seriously, I was already getting my "hate mail" ready if you withheld those Richard Simmons pictures from me.

And hey... how about all those lurkers that came out of hiding to post a comment - gotta love that, I'm so jealous!

Grandma said...

glad you're back...I've been treated to a James as Richard photo preview....also it is alot of fun telling people my 2 yr old grandson is going as Richard Simmons. have fun James...good thing you aren't close by because I steal candy.When your mom was little I used to sneak so much of hers and rearrange what was left!

Charlotte said...

Amy- I've been away from blogland for several days and just got around to reading the recent episodes. I've VERY glad that you've decided to continue blogging. I think I'd DIE if I didn't get to see James as Richard Simmons.

I'm pretty sure there are a million and twelve more people who love your blog and than who don't. It would be a cryin' shame to deny us all our daily chuckles for a few sour grumps.

SusanH said...

Another lurker here - and I have to say congratulations!!! I agree that if you're getting that much "hate" mail (crap) you've really made it!! I seriously love reading your blog!!!!!! I, too, have snorted out loud, diet coke out of my nose, stopped my supervisor dead in her tracks laughed at work while reading your posts - keep up the excellent work! I need them!

Oh, and I'm in Greenville SC where we have a nice little Red Sox farm team (OK, waaaay down on the farm) so GO RED SOX!!!

The Roberts' Report said...

Sorry it's taken so long to comment...but screw the haters. I know your funny. And that's all that matters!! For my own personal daily laugh. I couldn't live without it. Don't forget we can trade our husbands services if you need our help =)!

Kims Kul-de-Sac said...

I'm old enough to be your mother and all I can say is "right on Amy" be proud of what you have to say and say it!

Lazy Gal Tonya said...

Amy,

"Anonymous" has left an apology on my blog for pretending to be me to leave a comment on your blog. Apparently it was supposed to be a joke - not very funny any way you look at it. Does make you realize how much damage a person could do if they were being malicious.

Wonderful to see how many positive comments you got on your blog - lots of support out there for you.

Thanks for the nice comments on my quilts! take care.

Family Adventure said...

Since I delurked to beg you to continue, I guess I should stay uncloaked.

I'm glad you are back!

Heidi

Jen said...

If the therapy thing doesn't pan out, you could always join me in my own personal therapy session-- my kickboxing class at the Y, which I'm about to leave for in a little while. You can think of the haters, and pretend to "kick their trash". I think we work out at the same Y (you look a little familiar).

I found your blog through someone in your ward, and am a fan now.

Amy said...

Jen...I totally don't want to give away which Y I work out at (not because of you, but because of crazy people). Does you last name start with an O? If it does, then yeah, we've seen each other before!

Mel said...

OMGosh I go and move over the weekend and miss all the drama! I would have been so mad if you quit. Honestly I read you and ONE other blog and that's it. Woman you can not stop.

Getting hate mail is a sign you're making it!

Jason and Sarah said...

Awwww. I get busy for a week, don't read your blog and miss all the drama! I also missed my chance to tell you how AWESOME your blog is and that you shouldn't let ANYONE stop you from keepin' on! I'm glad you've decided that without my super valuable input!

MB said...

First time here but I'll be back to catch up on all the laughs I've missed. Don't let the haters get you down. They are just jealous and the RED SOX are the WORLD CHAMPIONS!!! Have a great weekend!

Michemily said...

I'm sorry I missed the drama! I'm back and loving it already!