Last night, my mother was absolutely flabbergasted to find my husband eating imitation Doritos out of her large, decorative bowl from Pottery Barn. With a little bit of prompting from me, Jared thought it would be funny to walk by my mother, eating cheap chips, out of her very expensive Christmas gift.
Not surprisingly, my mother was shocked. Usually she treats my husband with an outpouring of love, and spoils him like the son she never had. But yesterday, Jared had clearly crossed the line in the sand.
"Jared! What are you thinking," my well-mannered, extraordinarily tolerant mother exclaimed?! "That bowl is for decoration! Not for eating greasy, disgusting snacks." And in one motion, my mother had dumped the chips into a tupperware container, and commandeered her beloved gift.
This is the part of the story where you'd expect my husband to apologize, right? Well, think again, my dear readers...think again.
Jared took the bowl out of my mother's arms, headed for the sink, and do you know what that 132 pound wiener had the nerve to say to his mother-in-law? Get this:
"Pipe down, Big Mama! I'll wash it."
Okay. Read that again.
We'll be leaving this morning and resuming our calm and peaceful life in our hand built shack by the river. Thanks a lot, Jared.