This blog has never been used as a platform for political discussion. I've never endorsed a candidate, I've never made reference to a party affiliation, and I've never criticized an elected official. I've purposefully avoided these topics for three reasons: 1) Voicing political opinions opens the door for a great deal of personal criticism--and we all know that I handle criticism as well as I handle fire ants in my underwear; 2) I think it's perfectly appropriate to keep my political opinions to myself; and 3) Politics don't bring out the passion in me--those fiery feelings are reserved for HGTV and barbecue flavored potato chips, thank you very much.
And you know what? You can bet your step-uncle's ass that I'm not about to get all political on you this Tuesday morning. I will remain opinionless, voiceless, and you can just keep on guessing how I feel about our presidential candidates.
Despite my lack of desire to share my thoughts, I can't deny that I've got politics on the brain. And who can blame me? I've spent the last few weeks hanging out in states that border New Hampshire, my brother-in-law begged for a Mitt t-shirt for Christmas, and my other brother-in-law spits rat poison at the mention of anything Republican. I've been inundated with opinions and questions about my candidate of choice--and wow--I'm shocked by the sweeping generalizations that people have pinned on me.
I've heard each of the following at least three times:
Generalization: You're Mormon, so I'm sure you're voting for Mitt Romney.
My response: I'm Mormon, but if I vote for Mitt it will only be on account of his great hair. It's also obvious that he works out, and I value that in a candidate.
Generalization: You're a woman, so I bet you're voting for Hillary.
My response: Who told you that I'm a woman? And even if I was a woman, I'd only vote for Hillary because I believe that her pantsuits fit well.
Generalization: You're young. Aren't you voting for Obama?
My response: He's hot, so yeah, probably. Thanks for the advice.
Generalization: You're Mormon, so you have to be a Republican.
My response: Wow, you're sharp. I still don't understand how Harry Reid is getting away with it. Do you?
So there you have it. This post was my long way of saying: No, I won't endorse a candidate on this blog. Well, I take that back...Vote for Pedro, he seems nice.