March 26, 2008
Yesterday, when I got home from work around 4:15, I realized that Jared and James were out for the night. That meant that for the first time in four months I was home alone with absolutely nothing pressing on my 'big ass to-do list.'** That's not to say that my list of household action items was blank--there was cereal to buy, underpants to fold, a carpet to vacuum--it simply meant that nothing on the list threatened our lives, our limbs, or our credit rating.
So, I did the only thing that any self respecting mother would do--I changed into my most disgustingly worn out pair of sweat pants, I dished up an extra large bowl macaroni and cheese, sprawled my haggard self across the couch, and planned to watch episode after episode of "Designed to Sell" on HGTV. My plan however, was foiled when I fell asleep mid-bite, three minutes after settling onto the sofa.
For the next four hours I proceeded to sleep, and sleep, and snore, and sleep. I finally startled myself awake at 8:05pm when an extra-long, snarfy snore caused the bowl of macaroni and cheese to tumble off my stomach and spill onto my neck.
Unfortunately, that was the last of the mac & cheese. Fortunately, it woke me up just in time to catch the first contestant on American Idol. I was able to fight off sleep for just long enough to critique each of the singers, and then I dragged myself up to bed, hit the pillow like a rock, and didn't emerge until my b****ard of an alarm clock went off at 5:30 this morning.
So what's the moral of this story? Well, it's simple--most moms are tired....really, really tired. An appropriate gift for any mother would probably be a gift certificate to Chuck E. Cheese (with her husband and children's names scrawled across the envelope) attached to a pillow, or a blanket, or any kind of sleeping paraphernalia under the sun. Trust me guys, she'll love you.
Back me up here, moms. Am I right? Or am I right?
*Bonus points to anyone who knows where the title of this post came from.**I really do have homemade stationary that has that phrase running across the top. Obviously, my coworkers are envious.