Dream Job

July 10, 2008

Do you ever find yourself slumped in your chair at work, admiring the troll collection that you've lined up along to top of your cubicle, and thinking, "Man...this is, like, totally lame."

Me neither. I don't have a troll collection.

But every once in a while I do stare at the weird girl who sits across the hall and think, "Damn...she needs some updated glasses frames." And then I inevitably find my thoughts drifting toward my wild n' crazy dream jobs.

So here's my question of the day:

WHAT'S YOUR WILD N' CRAZY DREAM JOB?

Unless you happen to be Brad Pitt's personal bathroom assistant, I really don't want to see responses like I LOVE WHAT I DO or I'M ALREADY FULFILLED. Also, I'd rather not hear about your dreams of accounting, supervising, or lawn mowing. Let's stretch our imaginations here, friends. Let's get a little bit nuts.

I'll go first...

I would like to be a New York Times food critic. I think it would be fun to be a writer for the Ellen show. I've always wanted to be a nun who runs a third-world orphanage. I think I'd make a great inner-city, Spanish-speaking medical doctor. And finally, I'd like to be a stand-up comedian.

There. Now I'm totally embarrassed.

So quick! Before I erase this post, talk to me about your dreams of plus-size modeling...or race car driving...or scuba diving.

37 comments:

TUWABVB said...

Okay - my dream job would be a party planner/wedding coordintaor/gift basket constructor. I know that I'd be good at it, but I don't have the funds to start my own business. Especially since we are moving to a new city where I don't konw anyone.

My second dream job would be Mega-million Lottery winner. Then I could do dream job #1.

Vanilla said...

Tuwabvb, my wife is all of those things, which is kind of weird that you'd mention it.

I'm not sure that I have a dream job. I think I'd rather just be disgustingly rich and sit around on my butt all day.

Sarah said...

All Time Dream Job: Personal Shopper.

Rosemary said...

Alice Waters-like restauranteur, wearing lots of loose and lovely linen dresses, chatting up comely makers of artisan cheeses, serving only freshly-picked and hand selected vegetables, delicious, pasture raised meats and fish caught by adorable children using hand made fishing poles and worms. You get the picture. I would, occasionally actually cook, and occasionally I would serve as hostess. I would do a lot of opening and pouring bottles of wine, and I would regularly float through the restaurant, asking diners how they were enjoying their meals, and extolling the virtues of "this really amazing butter from this little dairy farm up in the Methow." I would also be interviewed a lot in interesting magazines and travel a lot comparing the foods of my own little bucolic universe to the foods of other regions of the world.

RosieRider -- Hungry in Seattle

Bahston Beans said...

These are the first ideas that popped into my head.

Music Superstar – Think Jack Johnson, not Britney Spears. Scandal free and out of the Hollywood nonsense.

Host of Travel Show – Samantha Brown style.

Swim Olympian

Wally the Green Monster

Lindsey said...

How did you know I wanted to be a plus sized model?

M. Brooks said...

Dream jobs:

Communications professor

Published author

Writer for a magazine like Runner's World, Outside, Women's Health, etc.

Michemily said...

I would love to be the head of a university department, where I could tell people I didn't have time and show up at important conferences. Most of the time behind doors, though, I'd be reading and taking naps and writing. And part of my dream job would be this weird mutation of my body chemistry so no amount of junk food would make me any fatter.

Or, how about an employee at a publishing company, who just sticks to reading book after book and saying yes or no, no explanation required?

Or how about a job where I could tell people what to do and they would 1. know that I'm right, 2. praise me for being so right, and 3. be truly grateful for my rightness, and 3. do what I say.

Laura said...

Host of a diet/fitness show. Some days cooking, some days workouts (think Gilad), some days featuring restaurants and what good choices are at them, some days the latest news... etc. I think that would be awesome.

Brad and Rebecca said...

I would totally be the person ho puts music in major movies. Not like classical type music- more like those awesome 80's classics that you forget about until its in a soundtrack. Yeah, i'd be that girl.

Laura said...

American Idol Judge. A celebrity red carpet photographer. An exercise video host person. A tour guide on some mediterrean island, a math phd, oh, and while I am at it, I could be the President too. This would would be freaking awesome if I ran it!!

akshaye said...

I'd like to do something (not sure what) to do with bears.

If not that then I'd like a show like Anthony Bourdain where I get to be travel the world on the pretext of getting drunk, eating good food and cussing.

Helen said...

I want to host The Soup on E!. Man, what a gig. The guy (Joel)shows up for 30 minutes a week, reads off a teleprompter, gets a few laughs and then heads home. (I'm sure there's a little more to it than that but that's what I see, anyways.) I'm guessing the pay isn't too shabby either. So if anyone can pull any strings...

Maraiya said...

I'm a SAHM and I love what I do. I'm already fulfilled.

Maraiya said...

GAK! Okay, real comment, I don't know what I would want to be if I could grow up in a perfect world and be anything I wanted to be. Comedienne would be great but I'd actually have to be funny and make strangers laugh. I'm thinking about teaching but then I will be voluntarily spending the day with teenagers. Hmmm...maybe I should just be a patient in an insane asylum. Yeah, that's my dream job.

Mindy said...

I'd like to be a cooking show host (like I can cook! hah!) or be in a famous band, or be a bookmobile driver/librarian. I know, I know... that one's REALLY reaching! ;)

Maraiya said...

Ok, seriously, I thought of something. An Olympic gymnast. I always wanted to do that when I was little. How do they make any money is my question? Is it just endorsements?

P.O.M. said...

I am an event planner. No way in HELL would I do weddings - people it's NOT what it's cracked up to be.

My dream job is to be a SAHM. Seriously.

Brandon Harshe said...

Definitely a plus-size model. That would fulfill me to no end.

Heather said...

I'm going to take a risk here and ask a daring question -- why aren't any of you doing your dream jobs? Like taking mini-steps to get there? Or are we talking fantasy jobs? My fantasy job used to be wedding planner -- then I planned my wedding and realized that would be insane. I'm still fantasizing about being a Clinique lady. :)

Amy said...

Heather...I'm not doing my dream jobs because
1) NY Times hasn't offered me a job yet
2) Either has Ellen
3) I'm too married to be a nun
4) I really don't know much Spanish

Gretchen said...

Pet photographer.
Professional blogger.
That person who tests the Ben & Jerry's ice cream.
My all-time dream? A script writer for a smart, quirky sitcom.

Our Little World said...

Hey Amy, I can't think if anything. At least until I read Brandon's response and started busting up! That got my creative juices flowing.

Dream Jobs?
Oh...to work for the Travel Channel and travel the world all paid for and get paid for it! Sweet!

John said...

Paint, paint, and more paint; of the artistic variety.... Oooo, and telescope designer...and museum curator. I would close up the museum and have parties in the galleries and pretend to be all posh...

Tanwon said...

If I had my way with things I’d spend my time dancing as a chimney sweep in the Broadway musical Mary Poppins while night-lighting as an architect for million-dollar projects and then spending my off-season to travel the world by finding street vendors to train under for a season, all with my soon-to-be-husband (who would paint, paint, paint and be posh) while raising our mini-mes. Then for retirement I would own and run a prestigious but hippie-like International art school in Guilin China set in a complex I designed. And maybe a kung-fu master.

Grandma said...

I guesss I just left it! but if I were to try something else...1.work for David Letterman.... 2.circus clown(remember I was the one w/ the application from Clown College)......3.a barista(just so I could have the sign that says "Don't talk to the barista when she is working!)

Heidi said...

CHOCOLATE TASTER! Oh, dear. I'm starting to salivate already.

Thea said...

I know this isn't terribly ambitious, but I always wanted to be the person who named the colors for house paint. Nail polish wouldn't be bad either.

thh said...

Hey Amy, I came across your blog as I read Jennifer's and it has been a blast reading your posts. You should definitely be a writer - you've got what it takes. I don't remember the last time someone has made me laugh as hard as you have - and considering who I'm married to, that's saying something.

It's been nice catching up on what you and Jared are up to, as well as your in-laws. I think of Meredith often and appreciate all that she taught me.

Take Care, Tracey

Charlotte said...

...So you think you can dance Choreographer... author of children's books... Ben & Jerry's flavor consultant... Photographer for Family Fun mag...

I'm also diggin' tuwabvb's idea of being a gift basket constructor.

HotMommy said...

I want to be Padma Lakshmi from Top Chef. She eats like a lot, gets paid to eat a lot, and has a cool scar she's not afraid to show. Plus my name would be fun to say all the time.

chattypatra said...

In the past, I've wanted to be a:

1. Forest Ranger (scrapped when I found out I'm asthmatic).

2. Archeologist (see above).

3. Astronaut (didn't become an engineer).

4. Sociologist (Dad almost had a heart attack - told me to get a real degree).

Nowadays? I'd love to get paid to do either of the following:

1. READ BOOKS.
2. Be a casting director in HWood.
3. Create new ice cream flavors.
4. Write songs.

Of course, if I had married the guy I was dating right before I served my mission, I wouldn't have to do any of that. Turns out he is now a multi-millionaire. Go figure!

littlebee said...

My wild and crazy dream job isn't that wild and crazy. It's just a matter of money and resources!

I would LOVE to own and run a bed and breakfast that also has a yarn shop on the property. And of course, there would be sheep and alpacas to take care of. I have been wanting to do this since I was in high school.

Who knows, maybe I will have this job some day!

Crazy Logans said...

Ok, so I took quite a while to think about this and I think I would love to be a singer for my own music channel. You know, it's all missy all the time?? Ok, or maybe an astronaut... but do you know that you have to be able to concentrate for 3 straight hours in order to pass one of their tests? Ugh I couldn't do that, my mind is always thinking of other great things I could do, Ok this is it, I would love to own my own ice cream/shoe/book/ chocolate shop, which is open for 24 hours, just in case you need a middle of the night comfort place. Yeah, I think that's it!!! Come on over ladies, we have just what you need!

Mary said...

Hey Amy! My daughter Sarah has one of your dream jobs. She's an inner city doctor who is fluent in Spanish!

As for me, in my next life I want to be a marine biologist, an herbologist who knows the secrets of natural healing or a world famous astronomer who unlocks the secrets of the universe!

LegallySuited said...

OK, so I am a lawyer, so this isn't much of a stretch. But a corporate one, not the interesting kind. My dream job is small town lawyer with a shingle out somewhere and a cute office. And since this is dream, making enough money to afford really great shoes. And helping gramps with his will and divorcee with her kids, the small interesting stuff...

Less likely dream jobs:
- book editor
- ballerina
- buyer

You know, all those "B" jobs. Hehe.

The 311 Boys Mom said...

dream jobs: easy
1. Disney vacation planner, not the over the phone kind. I'd come to your house (wherever it is, I'd just fly in a few times--cause I'm kinda rich cause I'm SOOOOO good at my job), meet the fam & see what everyone likes, so I could better help you plan a FAB vacation for everyone, something for everyone kind of thing. You’d refer me to everyone & I'm a reasonable fee, like AAA, but sooooo good, I'm rich from referrals. (Like Jared will be soon, it takes time) :O)

2. A personal assistant, to someone famous, but cool. . . . I'll pick up dry cleaning, get food, whatever, but they have to be like normal famous people who LOVE & appreciate all i do (with large bonus's preferably)lol

and. . . . .

3. a GOOD SAHM, I've tried it & I suck, I'm not creative, patient, or sane/insane enough to do it.
I think it has to be thee hardest job in the world. Seriously. Hence me paying $200-a week for a 4 yr old to be in Pre-K ($220 in the summer)