Amy's Tips for Professional Success

August 29, 2008

I have a meeting in an hour where I have to present market research to six men who are all at least twice my age. As far as I know, one is a former politician and another sits on the board of some company somewhere.

I should mention--I'm not totally clear about what "market research" actually is.

I'd like to venture a guess that a lot of twenty-somethingish women would be intimidated by a situation like this--but not me. All I can do is fart around on my blog and think, "Oh my crap, I am so hungry. I wish I had some chicken."

I really should be preparing. You know--putting forth some inkling of professional effort to protect myself from all out humiliation. But no, I'm not. Instead, I'm sitting here telling myself that as long as I can avoid, 1) excessive use of the word "um," 2) passing loud and/or stinky gas, and 3) letting a boob flop out of my blouse, then I should be totally fine.

I know what you're thinking..."But Amy, wouldn't the boob floppage give you a significant advantage in the situation like this?"

You know--I think it would push me a step ahead in some major metropolitan areas, but certainly not in this neck of the woods. These men are Mainers--they would be far happier to see a six-pack of Budweiser, a .22 rifle, and a small mouth bass roll onto the table than a useless old set of knockers.

After all, even the most bodacious of taa-taas are attached to women. And women like to nag.

With that pearl of wisdom, I will button my shirt up to my chin and head out for my presentation.

Wish me luck! And I hope you all have a fun filled, traffic-free long weekend.

11 comments:

Merry said...

May the roads be empty before you
And all the traffic only on your blog...

Heather of the EO said...

Yup. More Amy awesomeness today.

Sue said...

Good luck. I love giving presentations. People trapped in a room, having to pay attention to me - that's good stuff.

Alyson said...

Ah yeah, I would be freaking out right about now. Sounds like you're a bit more mellow.

I liked how you explained Mainers. Hilarious!

joolee said...

Useless old set of knockers:) Ain't that the truth (for me anyway). And I loved your verb choice....flop. Only useless old knockers flop.......from what I can remember.

Grandma said...

need any turtlenecks??

Lindsey said...

Whatever, you don't fool me for a minute. I know you are going to go in there and blow 'em away.

Cheryl said...

I'll bet your presentation was great! If you didn't knock them out with your dazzling smile and market research, you probably knocked them out with... well, you know. :-)

Michemily said...

How'd it go?

chattypatra said...

You do too know what market research is, Amy! That's the study you conducted before you settled on the old doctor who takes you camping and stuff.

Did you get any free loot from the board member who sits on the board of that company somewhere? I bet you charmed everyone.

Enjoy the weekend!

glitterangel said...

Good luck! If you haven't already had the award, I've nominated you for a Love Your Blog award, details are on my blog. Have a good weekend Sharon x