Day Dreams...

August 20, 2008

Most days I sit in my office and dream about quitting my job to become a full-time writer. I'd probably have a stylish layered haircut, wear very expensive jeans, and drive a Subaru wagon from coffee shop to coffee shop--because seriously, they're not just for lesbians. I'd give the occasional lecture at the over-priced liberal arts schools that dot the New England landscape, I'd do some evening-time humor workshops at the off-beat church houses in my region, and--dang it!--I'd get paid to do all of it.

But lately, my officetime daydreams have changed. These days I sit in my dark, little sheetrocked cube and fantasize about more important things--like butter. I think about eating melted butter on blueberry bagels, I think about eating butter on my morningtime banana, on my eveningtime M&Ms, and straight from that luscious-looking stick.

I want to make out with butter, and honestly it's consuming my thoughts.

I'm not sure if this is a pregnancy thing, or if all of the sudden I've turned disgusting. I wouldn't be surprised either way.

Any thoughts?

18 comments:

Southern Fried Girl said...

Frankly I'd dry hump a package of butter soon as look at it but that's just me.

I was like this pre-pg too. Nice, right?

Heather said...

Seriously, why aren't you a full-time writer? I'm emailing you about this.

I was dreaming about peanut butter and chicken enchiladas this morning. Mmmmmmmmm.

Vanilla said...

I think my cholesterol went up 6 points just reading this post.

Jodie said...

Had to stop myself from licking the monitor. Butter is yummo. Margerine is even better. And I'd take country crock any day...that commercial where they spread it on the blueberry muffin...(wiping drool off my chin)

I'm pretty sure its a pg thing, cause butter on m&m's? not so much...but stick a spoon of peanut butter into a bowl of m&m's...now that's a treat.

heather of the EO said...

isn't there a commercial where the woman is downing a stick of butter?

Yes, yes. Writing and you, good friends. Friends ready to take the relationship to the next level. That would be cool. I'd go to that wedding.

Brandon Harshe said...

You might be disgusting... but you never know. You know what would be good? How about some butter on fried cow tongue topped with soggy Fruity Pebbles and pickle juice and layered with Velveeta? Huh? Huh? Whadaya think? That's gotta sound tasty.

Number Two will love that. Mmmm...

Joy Through Cooking said...

ummmm dreaming about butter is weird?! I love me some melted butter on just about anything. And buttercream? Dont even get me started...

And no baby cookin here!

Lindsey said...

Yes, I have thoughts... lusty thoughts about butter too... and lets face it.. it is NOT just when I am pregnant unfortunately. Enjoy it by buying Svenhards butter horns (a fatty pastry type thing) Smear butter on it, nuke it for 30 seconds and you've got yourself a big old butter make out session. Enjoy.

HotMommy said...

Cooking philosophy #1: There is nothing that butter and bacon can't make better.

jkrunning said...

I had a Subaru wagon for years, and despite my husbands pleas, I have not yet turned Lesbian. So therefore, I can attest to their coolness.

carla said...

my Toddler dreams and talks and yammers about butter.

think she's knocked up?

Cheryl said...

Subaru wagons are for lesbians? Who knew?

And butter? Nothin' better! YUM!!

Laura said...

I can't have butter ever since my doctor told me I had high cholesterol :( I miss it!

theloosemoose said...

The Five Food Groups: Butter, Pizza, Butter, Cheesecake, and Butter.

Grandma said...

Want your peanut butter and butter sandwich I used to put in your lunch?

Mz. Cat said...

fresh baked yeast rolls with honey butter dripping off...

Our Little World said...

I think you should get on those dreams Amy!!!! And just eat the butter and get it over with!

Jill said...

When I was pregnant with my first, I ate so much butter that my co workers said that when he was born, he would just slide right out.
I also ate a ton of chocolate (almost literally) and he has the most beautiful chocolate brown eyes.