Jared and I have spent the past few afternoons interviewing candidates for a part-time position with his practice.
My husband says it feels good to be on that side of the desk. You know--firing off the questions, asking some intimidated 21-year-old what her ultimate aspirations are, what her biggest weakness is, and then snickering wildly when she admits that she'd like to be an astronaut...but failed college calculus.
Please know that I'm totally kidding. We don't even bother with the 'biggest weakness' question--because seriously, if you thoughtfully admit that "sometimes you try too hard," I might just scribble the word LIAR across a post-it note and force you to walk up and down the sidewalk with it affixed firmly to the crack of your ass.
In all honestly, I'd love to hear someone respond by saying, "I steal office supplies." Or "Sometimes I piss the entire day away on match.com." Or "I have no work ethic and will probably get fired by next Friday."
Good old fashioned honesty....now that's how you'll earn my respect.
And since I'm so thoroughly screwed up, we skip that question all together.
An interview with the Lawsons pretty much involves Jared saying, "Tell me about yourself," me saying, "We're looking for someone with an outgoing personality," and James saying, "MOM! I POOPED IN MY PANTS!"
Yes, it's true. James attends most interviews--because seriously, if you don't have the wherewithal to compliment my child on his obviously fabulous afro, then there's NO WAY IN HELL that we're ever gonna get along. And that my friends, is the perk to owning your own business.
On Tuesday afternoon we interviewed a young woman, and--ummmmm--let's just say she wasn't really our type. No handshake, 5-6 inches of cleavage, and seriously lacking in the personality department. Getting a multiple word answer out of this girl was harder than saying "no" to a bag of Cheetos and chocolate milk through a straw--which I'll have you know, is darn near next to impossible.
We finally did get her to open up a bit when Jared offered up his typical "Tell us about yourself" conversation starter. But come now, do you know how she responded?
Jared: So tell us a little bit about yourself!
Interviewee: Uhhhh. Well, um...I'm 22 years old, I live with my boyfriend, and I like to go clubbing.
Jared: I guess I wasn't aware that people go clubbing up here in Maine.
And that was that. We wrapped up the interview with a smile, a handshake, and showed her straight to the door.
So seriously...how much do you think we should pay her?