Watch Your Soukin Mouth!

October 15, 2008

It's no secret. As far as Mormons go, I'm a relentless potty-mouth--constantly spouting off nasty little words like damn and shiz and wicked-pisser.

Recently, I regret to announce, that this problem has only gotten worse. When I'm frustrated or sad, or even a little constipated, I automatically and thoughtlessly revert to my scummy-nasty language. And what can I say? Lately I've been really, really sad.

I honestly didn't realize that my language had become a significant issue until yesterday afternoon, when two separate events transpired.

*****

Event #1
Jared and I were pulling out of the grocery store parking lot when James piped up to say, "Hey Daddy. Remember when you crapped your pants?"

Now instead of thinking Oh my word, my three-year-old just said crap (like I should have), I let out a casual laugh, turned to my husband and said, "How does he know that story? You told him about that?"

And Jared was like, "Amy, your son just said crap."

And James yelled, "CRAP!"

So Jared was all, "I think we have a bigger problem here."

Then James yelled, "CRAP!" again.

*****

Event #2
Last night in my sewing class we were making fabulous little dresses for a wonderful Christian charity called Little Dresses for Africa. As I stitched along the sleeve, my teacher was all, "As you sew your project, I want you to think about the lovely little girl who will benefit from your hard work. Sew with love, ladies. Sew with..."

And just then, my sewing machine lost its grip on the elastic. Without thinking I blurted out, "Oh you stupid b^*&#! I swear I'm gonna toss your sorry plastic ass right out that window."

The hippies giggled, the quiet lady sat quietly, and my teacher calmly said, "Amy. Is everything okay over there?"

I assured my teacher that I was talking to the sewing machine, not her.

*****

And actually, now that I'm on a roll, I'll publicly admit one more thing. An ongoing problem if you will.

James has added a new, original word to his vocabulary. Soukin. It's pronounced like SUE-KIN, and he uses it in the following contexts:

"Mom, I can't find my soukin shoes."

"I'm really soukin hungry."

And "Read me a soukin book, Daddy."

I honestly, honestly think that soukin is a variation on Jared's excessive use of the word stinkin', but in my current state, I really can't be sure.

***

So there ya have it, another soukin page to add to my always-growing CPS file.

20 comments:

Laura said...

That's hilarious! I need to watch my soukin mouth a bit more too... I don't swear nearly as much as some people, but when I do, it just slips out uncontrollably, and I hate it.

Kellie Buckner said...

Me too. Bad habit with crap. yesterday both my nearly four year old and my two year old were yelling it and using it in proper context. pretty sad.

Jill said...

When my daughter was little she called her brother an idiot. When DH asked her where she had learned such a word she replied "That's what mom calls all the other drivers on the road!" (in my defense, they really are)

Why don't they learn nice words like "please" and "thank you" and "here mom, you can have all of my chocolate!"

Grandma said...

oh crap! time to practice the surprise face when someone brings it to your attention...future teachers, Sunday school teachers.

akshaye said...

Soukin.. brilliant - you got a creative kid in James!

Katy said...

Ty said Jackass once. Oops.

Lindsey said...

My daughter has taken to the word "freakin" ie. It is so freakin hot out here. My husband doesn't appreciate it much (at all) I am trying to reform. Wasn't there a post.. at one time... where you said you were never going to say a$$ again? I think I recall that.. Don't I? Just sayin'.

Cheryl said...

Classic. It was bound to happen sooner or later. Little ones always pick up on the stuff we don't want them to repeat. Hopefully James won't learn to put a different letter on the front of that word! :-)

Shelly Benson said...

I always say that "Hell, damn, and ass are Bible words." I'm glad I'm not the only one with this problem. Luckily my husband is way worse than me, so I'll be blaming him when all our kids have potty mouths.

Heather said...

That was soukin funny!!!

Heidi said...

Funny, funny. I have heard of three year olds throwing the F bomb around, so I think you are doing okay. That is hilarious that James has made up a new cuss word. Maybe he'll start a new fad.

Laura said...

That's ok, all my kids said crap at two years old, and I'm mormon too, AND I got this new dog what won't stop crapping in my house, and she's making me said even badder words...and I said it in front on my kids...who said, OOOOHHH, Mommy, you said a BAD word...I just told them to be quiet. So you're doing pretty good.

Sarah said...

Hey - you're just keepin it real!

Michemily said...

At least you don't fake your words into other words. I had a friend who would always say, "Oh my hell . . .o." It takes courage to say the real thing and it takes courage to change, if you ever want to.

Melanie J said...

I'm stealing soukin.

Heather of the EO said...

what melanie j said.
thanks!
My boys will be saying soukin so very soukin soon.

Marc and Megan said...

You should hear some of the words Marc uses... like...

Uh, nevermind... it's probably too borderline... I'll have to save it for a private email.

chattypatra said...

What the frack is the matter with all you frakking potty mouths in here? I don't know why the heck you guys can't control yourselves. It pisses me off!

I'm KIDDING, people!

When I was a child, I used to say "ñoña" in front of my grandmother and she would get very upset; said it was unladylike. Of course, I had no idea it was a substitute for s&*#. Oops.

Ah...the innocence of youth! Still, even now, that's what I automatically say if I'm very frustrated. ¡Qué ñoña! It always makes me feel better; sad, but true.

Laura said...

as a stanger leaving a comment here who comes from a family that swears profusely I think a three year old saying crap is not a big deal. then again my parents swear like sailors and i have a hard time remembering that people are offended my mere words. For the adults present though who don't like to use more colorful language may I suggest crap-tastic and crap-tacular.

HotMommy said...

Start using the made up dirty word from Battlestar Galactica - "frack."

Usage: Shut your frackin' mouth when you chew. Or: I really fracked up that scrapbook page!