It's no secret. As far as Mormons go, I'm a relentless potty-mouth--constantly spouting off nasty little words like damn and shiz and wicked-pisser.
Recently, I regret to announce, that this problem has only gotten worse. When I'm frustrated or sad, or even a little constipated, I automatically and thoughtlessly revert to my scummy-nasty language. And what can I say? Lately I've been really, really sad.
I honestly didn't realize that my language had become a significant issue until yesterday afternoon, when two separate events transpired.
Jared and I were pulling out of the grocery store parking lot when James piped up to say, "Hey Daddy. Remember when you crapped your pants?"
Now instead of thinking Oh my word, my three-year-old just said crap (like I should have), I let out a casual laugh, turned to my husband and said, "How does he know that story? You told him about that?"
And Jared was like, "Amy, your son just said crap."
And James yelled, "CRAP!"
So Jared was all, "I think we have a bigger problem here."
Then James yelled, "CRAP!" again.
Last night in my sewing class we were making fabulous little dresses for a wonderful Christian charity called Little Dresses for Africa. As I stitched along the sleeve, my teacher was all, "As you sew your project, I want you to think about the lovely little girl who will benefit from your hard work. Sew with love, ladies. Sew with..."
And just then, my sewing machine lost its grip on the elastic. Without thinking I blurted out, "Oh you stupid b^*&#! I swear I'm gonna toss your sorry plastic ass right out that window."
The hippies giggled, the quiet lady sat quietly, and my teacher calmly said, "Amy. Is everything okay over there?"
I assured my teacher that I was talking to the sewing machine, not her.
And actually, now that I'm on a roll, I'll publicly admit one more thing. An ongoing problem if you will.
James has added a new, original word to his vocabulary. Soukin. It's pronounced like SUE-KIN, and he uses it in the following contexts:
"Mom, I can't find my soukin shoes."
"I'm really soukin hungry."
And "Read me a soukin book, Daddy."
I honestly, honestly think that soukin is a variation on Jared's excessive use of the word stinkin', but in my current state, I really can't be sure.
So there ya have it, another soukin page to add to my always-growing CPS file.