Caution: I Have Passive Aggressive Tendencies

December 17, 2008

My hobbies and interests include running, sewing, cooking, being overtired, and finding creative ways to be passive aggressive.

The passive aggressive thing is, by far, my favorite hobby. In my twisted mind, there's not a thing in the world that compares to clapping my sandy shoes over Jared's side of the bed and offering a subtle little shrug when he spits the words AMY! WHAT IN THE HELL?!

The same goes for putting spare change in the toes of his work shoes when he's rushed, wetting down the ass pad of his recliner with water after a hard day at the office, and combing the greyhound's ears with his fancy-shmancy toothbrush.

You might think I'm a sh*tastic wife on account of these little antics, but really now, it's just my humanness coming to the surface. How else am I supposed to balance out the weeknight turkey dinners and the squeaky clean toilets? Seriously folks, I can't let myself be that good of a spouse. It will intimidate him.

So all of the secret cookie licking? It's for his own good.

Really.

9 comments:

the MomBabe said...

Passive Aggressiveness is an art form and should be treated as such. You're not being sh*tastic, you're being creative... totally different.

VICKI IN AZ said...

I was wondering, is this all supposed to be news to your blog fans? You are a kook!! Hey, I read my Jared someone else's funny blog entry and he said, "Yeah, not as funny as Amy." Merry Christmas!!

chattypatra said...

Junior Companion Abuse!!! ;)

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

I'm new around here. But what would you define as active aggressive?

This post, on the other hand, was being very passive aggressive. It showed up in my reader (by "my reader" I mean the link to your blog that I just put on my blog); then it disappeared; then it came back.

What did Jared do to deserved that? More to the point, what did I do?

(As I saidm I'm new to this site. Butr i'm enjoying your posts, sister!)

Kita said...

You are my wife role model. When I grow up I want to be Amy Lawson.

Heather of the EO said...

Such a lovely form of crazy, really.

Michemily said...

Oh good, cause I was wondering how you balanced out all your perfections. :D

wendy said...

I love your blog and funny stories -- you sound like my kind of woman. I love to bug my hubby too, it is a sickness, I relate. I hide behind things and scare the hell out of him. I laugh hysterically as he tells me I have a demented mind. (that's ok, probably do) Or he won't let me do his laundry, anal about it. So when he'd done and has it all folded I sneak into his drawers and turn his undershorts all inside out. Oh don't you love being demented,

Jonny's Mommy said...

You have given me some wonderful ideas for the hubby. Thank you. :-)