December 17, 2008
My hobbies and interests include running, sewing, cooking, being overtired, and finding creative ways to be passive aggressive.
The passive aggressive thing is, by far, my favorite hobby. In my twisted mind, there's not a thing in the world that compares to clapping my sandy shoes over Jared's side of the bed and offering a subtle little shrug when he spits the words AMY! WHAT IN THE HELL?!
The same goes for putting spare change in the toes of his work shoes when he's rushed, wetting down the ass pad of his recliner with water after a hard day at the office, and combing the greyhound's ears with his fancy-shmancy toothbrush.
You might think I'm a sh*tastic wife on account of these little antics, but really now, it's just my humanness coming to the surface. How else am I supposed to balance out the weeknight turkey dinners and the squeaky clean toilets? Seriously folks, I can't let myself be that good of a spouse. It will intimidate him.
So all of the secret cookie licking? It's for his own good.