Just a Quickie

January 16, 2009

I have approximately thirteen minutes to write a post today, and I'm just not sure that I can be funny in that little window of time.

We'll see....

I had a one on one meeting with the President of a local bank today. We sat in some really cushy chairs in the sun room of his office. No seriously, his office has its very own sun room. My house barely even has its own bathroom.

What a showoff.

So there we were, using each other's first names as often as we possibly could--because that's the way successful schmoozers do it--when his personal assistant walked in.

I stood up from my seat to shake Heather's hand (and use her name while I did it) when I noticed a funny look in her eye. She wasn't looking at my nose, so I knew it wasn't a booger seeking freedom that caught her attention. Obviously, that girl just had a problem.

When Heather left, I talked with the President a little bit more--asked about his kids and such. After all, that's what you've gotta do when you're looking for a five year donation that's large enough to fund your own salary.

He introduced me to a few other bankers--all three times my age, income, and importance level. And I'll tell you what, they were giving me that same damn look.

"They're all doing drugs," I told myself. "It's got to be cocaine."

Then, finally, when I had schmoozed, and begged, and asked if I might be able to make a presentation to the entire Board of Directors, it hit me like a cinder block from the sky.

I was still wearing my winter pom-pom hat. And I had been the entire time.

Pumps, a power suit, and a lime green pom pom hat...now that's a recipe for success.

Cr. Ap.

20 comments:

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

Wow. These guys have a sister? And it's you?

They have their own foundation, too. It's a beer foundation. When you think about it, beer is the foundation for a lot of questionable fashion decisions.

But try not to think about it, since I'm guessing you were sober when you did this.

vkrem1dm said...

Oops. Better the pom pom hat than the birthday hat in your previous post :)

Sarah said...

Well, It's frickin' cold out! I bet it was even frickin' cold in that sweet sunroom of his that I wish I had. Wearing your hat is totally acceptable when it's this cold!

Kita said...

Oh Crap Amy, that stinks. But it did give me a good laugh and an ugly look from my boss. OK...back to work.

Holly said...

I would think wearing a warm hat would recommend you to those sensible banker types.

"Bob, did you see how carefully Mrs. Lawson tries to retain her body heat? Now that's someone we can trust with our money. She doesn't waste anything--not even the heat from her head."

Heather of the EO said...

I always forget mine is on too. But I can't say it ever matters, I just go to Target and church. People are so nice at church, they just pretend like it's normal.

Topher said...

For some weird reason, the first image that came to mind when I read the punch line of your story was that it reminds me of a sketch I could totally see Carol Burnett doing.

Marissa said...

Ok, you have to post a picture of that outfit. :)

Jane @ What About Mom? said...

What color was your suit?

If you're anything like me, maybe the hat was better than hat-hair?

(And I'm sure it went down exactly as Holly suggests.)

littlebee said...

I had a bout of hysterical laughter when I read this. I had just come out of a meeting after school and I had been on my way out when I was called in. I had on my big floppy bright orange and purple hippie hat and didn't realize it until I caught my reflection in the glass on the way out. Totally got similar looks.

Michemily said...

I want to see this winter pom pom hat. This story made me think of a senior couple who returned from their mission and the sister told everyone about how one day they were on their way somewhere and she suddenly realized she only had on her black slip! Her husband tried to convince her that she didn't need to go back, that the slip was enough. Ha ha.

Cheryl said...

Blame it on the super cold weather. I think it's totally acceptable in Maine! Bet you looked darn cute. :-)

Morgan and Derek said...

Well, at least you got a good post out of it. :)

Our Little World said...

I am going to have very strong abs b/c I laugh so much when reading your blog! LOL That is awesome!

miss petite america said...

and he didn't say anything like, "would you like to take off your hat?"

what aturd.

ClumberKim said...

It's Maine. Like that's never been done....

I'll bet they remember you!

ClumberKim said...

(And let me know if a contact here: http://www.avcog.org/

would be useful to you. I have a good one in the finance dept.)

Melissa said...

Why aren't you at home knitting those pom-pom hats (and matching scarves) for the missionaries?

Amy said...

If only you'd had matching lime green pom-poms on your pumps.

Smarry said...

Very nice article thank you so much for the posting..............

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Smarry
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