I've been run down with a pretty nasty cold for the last couple of days, and I'm not gonna mince words here--it really kind of blows. I'm not totally sure where I picked up this little gem, but if I had to give it my best guess, I would say it has something to do with the circus that James and I attended last Friday.
You know, like the Universe said to me, "Amy. Are you really gonna pay money to take your innocent child to an event that objectifies animals, sells nutritionally deficient snacks, and puts ladies in outfits that almost reveal their ta-tas?"
And I was like, "Yes. Yes I am."
So the universe was all, "Fine. Then have fun and let me dump two quarts of snot into your head."
Honestly, that's how I think I caught this thing.
When it comes to being sick, of course there are the typical aspects that I certainly don't appreciate--you know, runny nose, gunky throat, watery eyes, and a head that I can't seem to lift off of my desk. But do you know what I hate the most? Really, do you wanna know? It's most definitely the insanely stressful dreams. And yes, I'm well aware that I might be the only person on this great green earth who deals with this particular symptom.
Last night for example, I dreamt that my 87-year neighbor asked me to bring her to free-day at Disney World. Obviously it was packed, and my neighbor--bless her soul--refused to sit in a wheel chair. As soon as we got into the park, my neighbor let me know that she really had to use the bathroom, so we shuffled and shuffled and shuffled around until we finally found a bathroom. With a two hour wait. And then, THEN, when it was finally our turn, I realized that this particular restroom was completely lacking toilets. I had to pee into a 2-liter 7-UP bottle, and my elderly neighbor--seriously, bless her heart--was expected to pee into a metal Juicy-Juice can with those tiny little triangle openings.
Can you get any more stressful than that? Obviously, I woke up panting, in a cold, hard sweat.
When I finally settled back down and fell back to sleep, I was plagued with another terribly stressful dream. This time I needed to buy an airline ticket, but of course, every time I tried to make my way to expedia.com or travelocity.com or even delta.com, my hands turned all jelloish and I completely forgot how to type. Since my hands didn't work well enough to drive, I hopped on my bike and rode 75 miles down the highway--with no hands--and bought my ticket directly from the agent at the counter. For $613. And it was only one way. And I bought it for the wrong destination.
More cold sweat.
Then there was the dream about the single college-aged girl who moved into my house, changed the locks, furnished the entire place with plastic Ikea furniture, and successfully convinced me that I was the crazy one.
And the dream that my mother disowned me for spending $100 on a pair of jeans.
And the other dream where Jared left me to live underwater.
Lots of cold sweat.
So honestly, am I the only one in the house who has this crazy symptom? Anyone else out there? Anyone else?