April 24, 200
Jared and I have been married for just about seven years, and during that time we've never had any type of cable television. Well, actually, I take that back. A couple of years ago, when we lived in Texas we took a chance and plugged in our cable cord just to see what might happen.
And whatdayaknow? *POOF* we had cable--stolen cable, but it worked every bit as well as the paid kind. For two days. And then the company sent us some kind of letter about prosecution and we promptly resumed our fuzzy viewing.
Anywho, these days we still don't have cable and trust me when I tell you, it's not because we don't love TV--because really, we love TV. More than we love each other. That's why I feel so confused when Jared's like, "Amy, get that thing out of the bed!" And I'm all, "What? I just want to spoon with my one and only for a couple minutes. I like the way it's cold screen feels against my warm cheek."
When Jared and I make our first million, we'll definitely sign up for cable--but in the mean time, we'll continue to opt for jealousy. More specifically, we chose to be insanely jealous of any human beings who have anything that resembles satellite, OnDemend, DVR, Tivo, etc in their living room.
Of course we're envious, us schmucks don't even got no remote control. Honestly.
But this fine morning, I'm trilled to say that Jared and I have finagled a fabulous (and foolproof) new way to stick it to all of our friends with premium cable packages--and folks, it has everything to do with Facebook status updates.
It basically goes like this (and if you haven't seen The Office yet, consider yourself warned):
Jared Lawson is happy that Michael Scott is working for Dunder Mifflin again.
[insert three-dozen angry "Oh c'mon! I haven't watched it yet!" comments here]
Amy Lawson says Jared, your friends sound angry. You better not tell them about the 60k buyout offer that Michael Scott declined before he asked for his old job back.
And so on and so forth.
We're loving this. Brings much satisfaction into our not-so-satisfying lives.