Criminal Speeding.

August 20, 2009

I'm happy to say that I'm feeling much, much, much better this morning. The temperature dropped from the mid 90's into the low 60's last night and I only had to wake up twice to empty my tank. Needless to say, I'm feeling pretty rested.


Because seriously, I was on the verge of getting myself arrested. For what? I don't know. But I could feel it coming, and it wasn't about to be cute.

I've actually never been arrested, which, I've got to admit, is something I take a great deal of pride in. Now my husband on the other hand? Yeah, he's been bagged by the cops.

It was nothing serious. Well, nothing more serious than driving 100mph in a 65mph zone, but dude, sometimes it feels so frickin' hot to be married to such a bad boy.

Criminal Speeding. Mmm hmmm.

This was long before the days of me--actually, I think he was only 18. He was headed to church, yes church, and decided to open 'er up. He was in a bondo grey truck, the base model, no bumpers, and couldn't believe that he got her going so fast. So obviously, he stuck with it.

Then he got pulled over by an unmarked car (which he happened to be racing), his truck was impounded, Jared got cuffed, and the friendly police officer delivered him to the lobby of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints--all shackled up. Just like you always see in the super sweet commercials.

I should also mention that his family had just moved. This was their first Sunday in the new congregation and man were my in-laws ever proud of their son--because really, that was a first impression that really stuck with the masses.

The Mormon community in Maine is a little bit less than small, so still, to this day, Jared gets comments about the incident. Random strangers will come up to my husband and be like, "Watch your speed Brother Lawson!" And Jared will wag his finger at the person, muster up a hearty fake chuckle, and be all, "Only if you promise to keep your pants on. Ya got that?"

Confuses the shiz out of old people, I can tell ya that much.

Other than the occasional comment at church events, and the fact that Jared needs notarized copies of his court conviction documents every time he applies for a job, I'm happy to say that his arrest seems to have no ill-effect on our day-to-day lives.

His excessive farting on the other hand? Now that's an actual problem.


blaine said...

Good thing he was in Maine. If it had been in Utah, he would have been a featured story on the KSL news. Maybe they would do a two or three part story on kids and driving in relation to the parents religious affiliation. Then I'm sure a congressman would have introduced some new driving bill the following year.
Although, by changing his life around, he may have gotten some press out of it by being included in a General Conference talk...maybe even the Priesthood Session.

I think Jared got off pretty easy....

Vanilla said...

Jared just went up a notch in my book. I wish I had a story about being arrested for something.

Michemily said...

No, really? That's awesome. My brother-in-law's brothers were pulled over for speeding, and they got off because they said, "We're Mormon, what else can we possibly do for fun?"

pam said...

here here on excessive farting. . . seriously a crime.

Chief said...

He sounds so amazingly irresistible to be now. I do like the bad, church going guys. I seriously want to get pulled over on the way to church (except it's right across the street) and when I do...I will beg the cop to deliver me directly into sacrament meeting.

Kim said...

I'll never look at Jared the same's Police Chief told me when I was a teenager "Kim, it's not YOUR fault you drive too fast - you were just born with your right foot heavier than your left." Maybe Jared should weigh his feet.

Chief said...

I have to follow the rules (somewhat) and tell you that you have been nominated for a major award on my blog.

If you feel like following the rules while you air your crack, you can play along too.

Megan and Sean said...

HA! Sean just re-told that story the other day! I love it!

Bloggin Betty said...

The worst is when the excessive farting happens while we are sleeping, and gets all pent up, so when the burrito is opened the next morning as he get up to go to work, I am awakened by that 2 day old rancid Mexican food smell. Good times. Love your blog!

joolee said...

My hubby was thrown in jail for speeding in Wisconsin. Orange jumpsuit and everything. They didn't let him go until his mom wired them $ to pay his ticket. And this happened while he was driving cross country to see me! True love:)