Thirty Days Out and Wretched as Ever

September 8, 2009

I have exactly one month to go until my due date and let me tell you, all bets are off. I'm pissy, I'm cranky, and I'm wearing sweatpants to the office for the rest of this pregnancy. If anyone has anything to say about that, I'll cry and cry and wipe my nose all over their shoulder--all the better if it happens to be on something that's dryclean only.

If I had to wager a guess, there's almost nothing as awkward as a gigantic, hormal officemate asking you to rub her hair and tell her she looks pretty while her face is coated in nice, warm snot--so let's just hope it doesn't come to that.

I swear to the high heavens, unless I'm hearing words like, "Here's a chocolate pudding cup," or "Here's an unmarked bag of money," or "I stuffed your husband in the trunk of your car for you at no charge," I want absolutely no part of it.

I asked Jared to move out this past weekend.--just to his mother's house, and just for thirty-or-so days. And do you know what? That heartless fool had the nerve to say no. Right to my bloated face.

Not smart, honey. At this point, you've gotta give the big girl everything she asks for--and then back away slowly.

That's all.

9 comments:

chattypatra said...

I take it the babymoon didn't make you happy? Sorry you are having such a hard time. Sending a hug your way.

Chief said...

uh...my visions of you on your babymoon were completely off the mark. Can you at least stop by the quikmart and pick up one of those muffins?
Wait, I will do it for you ( am your biggest fan)...making flight arrangement....rental car....cash at the atm...bring the GPS...gotta find Amy, GOT.TO.HELP.HER.

X-Country2 said...

Someone needs a whoppie pie. :o)

Michemily said...

Hang in there.

Sarah said...

so the babymoon worked wonders i see!

Morgan and Derek said...

Hang in there! I know it seems like it will last forever and always. But just think, in a month you'll have a new, screaming, pooping machine. :)

Grandma said...

for what it's worth, you look really cute! xo

Michelle said...

Aw, Amy, I have been there and I know you feel horrible. Have a great big (((HUG)))

oh yeah and a bag of cheetos and another moonpie. It REALLY will make you feel better. :)

Laura said...

But if Jared moves out, who's going to offer you chocolate pudding cups?

Jared, if you're reading this: I think you know what you need to do to stay.