Unsolicited Advice

October 8, 2009

So, today is October 8th. The day I've been anticipating for months and months and months.

Sure it's my due date, but pffffft, who cares about that little thing? Not only is it Jim and Pam's wedding on The Office, but it also happens to be the annual Pajama Library Party at James's school tonight--and let's get real for a minute, those are the things that matter in the grand scheme of life.

I'm off to do some work, but in the mean time I'll leave you with a little snippet of advice: No matter how lazy you're feeling, never let your four-year-old eat three Fiber One bars and six plums for an afternoon snack. They will, most definitely, poop the bed. Twice.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

18 comments:

TX Mommy 2 said...

LOL... or 2 Fiber One muffins for breakfast before school... because they definitely poop at school!

Loralei said...

You know what they say..."Crap" happens!

Here's a little cheer for you...
"Push her out! Push her out! Waaaaay Out!" (Hope she doesn't keep you waiting!)

Mindy said...

I'm so glad I read your warning today! I was going to give my kids that exact snack after school. ;)

Sorry your due date is here and you're still sporting the belly... it'll happen. :)

Rachel said...

aww man..I thought you were mia for a few days because you were having the baby! HURRY UP already :D

Grandma said...

ooh thanks for the reminder to record the office....and I love you!! Hope James has a different snack today.....for your sake and his!!

Adri said...

My daughter was late. I remember going to work on my due date and I was pissed the whole day. You seem to have a better attitude than I did. Hope the baby comes soon!

thegatewoodfamily said...

Ok I found your blog off a friend of mines and had to thank you for a good hour and a half of laughing! I am a mom of a crafty, naughty little 17 month old. I rarely get a minute to myself and today I turned on the horrible little Einstein show so I could read your blog. Thank you for a little sanity this morning, it was greatly needed after I spent an hour scrubbing strawberries out of my carpet. Good luck and I hope your baby will come soon!

natalie said...

Or your 8 year-old a Fiber One bar on a road trip on which his bowels moved with excessive force in the middle of nowhere with no facilities within 100 miles except for one of those stripper joints for truckers. It didn't turn out well.

Maybe try some cheese today for him, and YOU eat the Fiber One! Anything to encourage her to make an exit!

Chief said...

do you just let him kinda do his own thing? What mom would allow that?

Im calling the authorities

Amber Lynae said...

LOL I'm am laughing so hard right now. Sorry I'm sure it wasn't that funny to you.

I have let my girl eat one Fiber 1 bar then gone to church. The nursery leaders kept bringing her to me thinking she was poopy. She just had gas. But it was funny.

chattypatra said...

We're praying for you over here. C'mon down, baby! You don't know this yet, but your parents are all kinds of AWESOME! Love you, Amy!

Laura said...

Chattypatra may be praying for you to have the baby, but I am praying for it to hold off until at least tomorrow. That way you won't miss The Office, and there's no good TV on Fridays and Saturdays anyway :)

girlsmama said...

Holy crap! Literally. That really made me giggle. I'm sure it was the plums. The fiber one bars probably had nothing to do with it. :)

However, as soon as that darling girl arrives, you may want to share James' snack. Just sayin'...

Good luck!

AMiller said...

I think I might poop in bed if I ate that.

Tanwon said...

I absolutely relate to your post today.... well, I relate very well to your four year old son. I absolutely loved the pajama/reading day in elementary school! I wish my work instituted a day like that. And I too have difficulty with fiber one bars....

V and Co. said...

i hope your baby popped out of your you know what already.

can't wait to see little vanessa's picture!

Michelle said...

Aw, Amy...hang in there! Baby girl will come when she's ready...you'll learn that this is how it is with girls...they do things on their own time! (I got three of 'em...I ought to know).

Oh yeah and too funny about the fiber one bars...LOL!!! I know...not funny cleaning up poopy bed...that would probably make me hurl big time...way to go, mama.

Mrs. V. said...

CONGRATS AMY!!!!!!!!