December 7, 2009
In theory it sounded awesome, but to be quite honest with you, this work-at-home-mom thing isn't really coming together so well for me.
Now, instead of sitting in my office, not doing much work and feeling semi-guilty about it, I'm sitting in my den, not doing any professional work (because old habits die hard) or housework (because I'm on the clock) and feeling just about as useful as one of those infomercial 'set it and forget it' rotisserie ovens--you know...not nearly as efficient as the salesman said it would be, and dude, it takes up way too much counter space.
I sit around all morning, with my boob hanging out of my shirt, pretending (key word there) to sound useful during conference calls, all the while wondering, "Can't she just stop crying for a second???" Consequently, my self-esteem is lying somewhere in the depths of my very uncleaned toilet.
Crappy employee? Check!
Crappy housekeeper? Double check!
Crappy friend? Would be if I had any! (Didn't that sound dramatic?)
Wallowing in self pity? You bet your big, fat bottom I am!
Objectively speaking, I have precisely nothing to show for my first two weeks back at work, and honestly, it makes me want to hurl. But worst of all, I sound like a nasty little, self-entitled whiner (e.g. "Working from home and getting paid well for it is sooooo hard!" and "Why is my beautiful, healthy baby just a little bit fussy every once in a while?")--and that makes me want to hurl all over again.
I have a work contract through April, so I'll give myself at least that long to adjust to the new circumstances--so that's good.
But I have even better news. This ridiculous need to vent and complain? I'll recover from that momentarily.