Grouse is Grrrrrrrreat!

October 4, 2010

I was off the grid for a day or four and oh my word, I'm completely happy to be back. As nice as it was to be away for a while, I appreciate water that runs clear, and carbon monoxide detectors that don't go off in the middle of the night, and poultry that comes from the store--you know, as opposed to the kind that's still covered in feathers when it hits the counter.

That's right, my husband shot a grouse--it's kind of like a wild chicken who hangs around in the wilderness.

I bet your mouth is watering.

[I wish I could post a picture right here, but Google says I'm over capacity so you'll have to use your imaginations. Count your blessings, guys.]

See, my husband likes to think he's a hunter. Not for anything big like deer or moose, but for little animals like birds and hamsters and whatnot--you know, the teeny ones that lack the brain capacity think their way out of a life threatening situation. The ones that run under your tires and smack into the grill of your Lincoln Town Car on purpose--those are his prey of choice.

But there's a catch. Up until last weekend, Jared hadn't technically shot any of these little defenseless birds or butterflies, he only talked about it constantly. And dreamed about it. And made me go look at hunting dogs.
This weekend however, Jared's life took a sharp change of direction when he finally lost his grouse virginity.

I don't know the details of how it all went down, and I'll go to my grave not needing to know. All I saw was a limp feathery bird, a chicken breast looking thing slide out of that bird without so much as a knife, and the chicken breast looking thing get tossed into a pan of hot butter.

Barf, barf, and barf again.

Before Jared actually shot a bird, I totally thought I'd be able to eat a grouse. I now stand officially corrected. Turns out I can get a raging case of the runs at the mere thought of a dead wild chicken thing....that about sums it up.

After Jared sauteed his grouse in butter, I could tell he was getting nervous about actually ingesting the bird. He held a piece up on his fork, tentatively put it up to his lips, took the littlest nibble your mind can fathom (watch the first three seconds of this for the full effect), channeled his inner Tony the Tiger, and over-triumphantly declared, "THIS IS GRRRRRREAT!"

Then he took approximately four-million more nibbles until he cleaned his plate like a good little hunter.

In all seriousness, I'm super proud of Jared. And since I just put it in writing, I don't think I ever need to eat a grouse to prove it.

10 comments:

Cheryl said...

That's a really cute nibbling video! Congrats to Jared on a successful hunt. :-)

Karen said...

My brother in law is a hunter too and the only deer he ever bagged was the one he hit with his car on the highway going to work one morning.

Sarah said...

Aww that is really too bad! When it's cleaned properly its not disgusting at all. And if it's a certain breed it tastes just like regular chicken!

It's funny you wrote about this today - we went hunting on Sunday and got a few and ate them breaded in shake & bake just like chicken fingers! And that's seriously exactly what they tasted like... I even took the leftovers in lunch yesterday! Hopefully you are able to try it again!

Jared said...

Sarah, it was a ruffed grouse and if you had a piece of chicken and a piece of this grouse side by side you would not be able to tell them appart. They looked and tasted the same. It was quite good. Although initially my bites were tentative because I was nervous about the taste after the first bite I was chewing carefully to try and avoid broken teeth on bird shot.

Jared said...

BTW, Amy likes to make fun of me for the way I ate, but she wouldn't even try it! Not so much as a taste.

Bahston Beans said...

Congrats Jared!

HL said...

Raging case of the runs made me snicker. So funny.

BrianFlash said...

Just think - that grouse lived a great life and only had one bad day. Not too bad!

Congrats on the successful hunt!

Cheryl said...

Hey, Amy... Have you won that Rooster's pizza yet? I noticed they are hiring staff now, so they must be about ready to give you some delicious free pizza. You'd probably like that better than grouse with birdshot in it, huh?

bostonblacksheep said...

Heh. Oh, Jared. =)

Am, I had the same reaction when Allan brought home fish to eat. Ick.