I Need a Therapist. And a Coach.

February 18, 2011

Jared, who happens to be the most supportive husband on the planet, read my Boston post yesterday. And last night, while he was folding laundry in our bedroom, he let me know that he thought it was total and complete crap.

"You still care," he said.

"No I don't," I insisted, "I'm over it."

"How long ago did you decide that you want to run the Boston Marathon?"

"In 1995 when I first read an article about it in Runners' World," I replied. "But I swear I'm over it."

"No you're not. You're discouraged that it just got harder. You're not over it, that's not you."

And so on and so forth.

He says he knows me better than I know myself.

I say he farts every time I walk into the bedroom and it's starting to piss me off.

He says he knows that I'll never give up on my dream.

I say I know he'll never get a manner.

Truth is, I don't know what in the hell I'm feeling. I guess you can say that I'm simultaneously discouraged and encouraged--and that's what makes us human, being able to feel two opposite things at the very same time, right? I mean, buffalo can't do that, can they?

So there. Whatever. I'm conflicted. About something that's not so big in the grand scheme of things, but on my mind a lot of the time.

Maybe I still care. Maybe I really don't care so much anymore.

Maybe I should drink some melted butter. I've always wanted to do that.


Karen said...

Your husband was folding laundry?

Anonymous said...

I recommend salted butter, it's a little tastier.

jed-laura said...

two comments-

1. melted butter?
2. folding laundry?

Diana from Dallas said...

butter is like heaven. and, if it is from grass fed cows, it has Omega-3s so butter can make you smarter

Pam said...

I liked the attitude you had about it yesterday. Get faster because YOU want to get faster. Train harder because YOU want to train harder.

That being said, I have a feeling that your BQ may be like so many other things... as soon as you stop looking for it you'll find it in the last place you'd have ever thought.

HL said...

Let it ride for a few days and see how you feel. Ambivalence is ok!

paige said...

it was my comment about bowel movements that got him, wasn't it..

Minnie said...

I say: go kick Boston's ass for those of us runners who are too unmotivated to do it.

Take one for the team Amy.

Helen said...

I don't know you but I called BS on your post yesterday too. Nothing wrong with a little extrinsic motivation, I say. Either way, you're running a LOT more than I do so way to go! :)

Danette said...

so i feel like we are totally bff's and i wish we were in the same ward. You need to go check out this blog, so funny. http://www.themompetition.com/

Stef said...

Husbands are wonderful, aren't they. Forcing us to face the lies we tell ourselves. Plus the whole farting thing...too bad we need them so much!

Michemily said...

I don't like butter on anything. The only thing it's good for is for making delicious baked goods. :)

Amy, I think you should go for it. And I agree with Jared; I think you will go for it.

Anonymous said...

Hi, I just spent about an hour reading back all the way to the tragic post about the thwarted Good Samaritan. After spending all that time here (and having all my Reader-catch-upping intentions thwarted) I thought I might as well let you know about your thwarting abilities.

Thanks also for the melted-butter-as-a-beverage concept.

Blaine said...

Here are some ideas you can consider:
1. Push for the BQ, get in and then start off an otherwise bland testimony meeting with BQ-mony..
2. Start a new Boston Marathon in one of the other 5 states with a Boston
3. Start a boycott of everything boston similar to what happened in Arizona. That'll teach them...

Anonymous said...

I still think you've got the right mindset. Keeping the focus on "you" and off "the race" will move you in the right direction. I definitely think you still care, but it's a different kind of caring.