Cocker Spaniels, Sausages and Nephews
December 13, 2006

My sister has been pregnant for the past....mmm....nine-ish months. On Sunday night, our phone rang around midnight. I figured that it was a call from my mom, telling us that the baby was born. So we picked it up. It was, in fact, my mother. For those of you who don't know my mother, she is a kindergarten teacher...and perhaps she's been on the job for too long. In the last 20ish years she has become very silly, slightly impulsive and a little hyperactive. Her attention span has also decreased, she's gotten to be itty-bitty, and she likes to talk more than she likes to sit still and listen. Essentially, she's becoming a kindergartener again. So I pick up the phone and, before I get to the hello part I hear this:

Mom--Tyler Jack....Ty. Ler. JAAAAACK!!!!

Me--[I try to confirm the sex of the baby, but get no sensicle response, so I assume that it's a boy]

Mom--Eleven twelve! It was eleven twelve...ELEVEN TWELVE! [that last eleven twelve was very loud and incredibly fast]

Me--Oh my gosh! Katy had an 11 pound baby?!

Mom--11-12, 11-12, 11-12!!!!

Me--Wow, I can't believe that! He must be gigantic! An 11 pound 12 ounce baby!?

Mom--I know! Yes Amy, eleven twelve, can you believe that?! Oh, and he weighs eight five.

Me--I thought you said...

Mom--...and he has a big, wide mouth and he looks just like a cocker spaniel.


Mom--yeah, his mouth is like soooo wide, Amy and he looks just like a sausage!!!! But I have to go and call more people on my list. Want me to call you later and give you some more updates about how he looks?!

Me--you can just send me some pictures tomorrow, mom.

Mom--oh! ok...gosh, his mouth is just so straight and wide!!! I love you, Amy!

[dial tone]

Well, I'm an aunt! Turns out he was born at 11:12pm and weighed 8'5". I've finally seen the pictures and I personally think he looks more like my brother-in-law than a dog or a breakfast link, but I haven't seen him up close, so I guess my mom could be right.

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