The Cabbage Patch Kid vs. The Bloody Woolly Mammoth
November 11, 2006

Trucks, airplanes, backhoe loaders, building and destroying....I get it, he's a boy. But just because he's a boy doesn't mean he wouldn't love a cabbage patch kid, right?
Today I made the choice that James would be the proud adoptive dad to a cabbage patch boy this Christmas. While we were out shopping this afternoon I decided to take a spin through the toy section to see what they had as far as cabbage patch selection goes. Well, my stars alligned and there he was, sitting right on the front of the shelf. I didn't even have to dig. Walter (the doll) looked just like James with his silky blond hair, came complete with blue hightops, and had a pet shitzu.

As I was admiring Walter through his celophane packaging, I heard a very enthusiastic "wow!" come from James. I got very excited that James was as enthusiastic as I was...I might have even teared up a bit. I turned to James to let him see Walter close up, and said..."I know James, isn't he just perf...."

That's when I learned that my hopes of becoming a young, hip adoptive cabbage patch grandma were dashed. James wasn't wowwing Walter, James was wowwing something a little more prehistoric. It was a big, plastic t-rex fighting with a bloody woolly mammoth who was pulling some kind of caveman cart. Here's how it went:

Me: James, look at Walter! Isn't he so cute?!

James: Whoa! (staring at the dinosaur)

Me: No, James...look at Walter. He's way more fun!

James: Rarrrr!!!!! Rarrrrr!!!! (making his best dinosaur noise)

Me: C'mon James...Walter has a shitzu. Don't you like pocket dogs?

James: (Looks away from the dinosaur, and glares at Walter and his dog pal) No, no, no...

Me: Fine....

Ok, I get it. He's a boy. He would probably like Walter more if he was tying firecrackers to his shitzu's tail, or if the two of them both got flattened by a runaway bulldozer.
No cabbage patch kids this Christmas, but no prehistoric action figures either. I compromised on a Mr. Potato Head...the pirate one.

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