Book Club
May 15, 2007

I joined a book club. I'm not going to lie, it kind of sucks. I guess I thought it would be fun. I guess I was wrong. I thought we would read some exciting page turners. Wrong again. Book club sucks.

My mom was in town during the first meeting, so I missed it. Talk about a fatal mistake. That was the meeting where we selected our reading list for the entire year. Yes, the entire year. The day after the meeting, the organizer of the club emailed me the reading list. Imagine my disappointment when I discovered that we have to read two crappy books a month instead of just one! Ladies, it takes me three weeks to read a People Magazine, how in the hell am I supposed to read like 1,000 pages a month? This is ridiculous.

So get a load of this reading list:
Jane Eyre --Jayne Eyre? You can't be serious. I purposely avoided every class in which this book was required reading, and I've certainly never considered reading it for pleasure. I don't want to read about some ancient British lady. I bet it's totally written in an English British accent...gross.

Mountains Beyond Mountains--I only know one thing about this book. It's 500 pages. I will be reading until 2019.

The Screwtape Letters--This one is by C.S. Lewis. The only thing I know about him is that he was required reading in high school. Geesh, c'mon!!!!

Cyrano De Bergerac--Seriously, who suggested this sha-diz-nit?!?! I'm going to kick her literature-loving ass. Can we read something that is less than a million years old?

Here are the books that I suggested. I don't know why none of them made the freaking cut.
  • Are you there God? It's me, Margaret.
  • The Babysitter's Club, #1-#25
  • Go Dog, Go!
  • Rachel Ray's Lower Carb Cookbook
  • Guide to Getting it On! 5th addition
  • Anything by Paris or Nicole
  • The Adventures of Captain Underpants Series

Does anyone want to be in my book club? I think it will be way more fun.

7 comments:

Jen said...

Hehehe, your hellish book club sounds like my dream book club! But then again, I did major in English Literature :)

P. S. Jane Eyre rocks the house! You should give it a try :) can tell you about it sometime if you want!

Amy said...

I'll try Jane Eyre...I really will. I'm going to try to expand my horizons...why not include classic literature?
My sincere apologies to english teachers everywhere and all the members of my bookclub! I'm participating mostly for the company because I looove you all! But, I warned you when you invited me :o)

The Ramos Family said...

I would love to join your new book club. I have a stack of at least 30 various parenting magazines of different titles dating back to at least summer 2006.

Sign me up!

I recommend:
*Sisterhood of the travelling pants
*Elmo Love's You

That would be it for the year.

mom said...

ok.... why was I prepared for YOUR booklist...Capt. Underpants picture gave me a hint. If you need pop-up books or I Spy ...see mom!

patti said...

Oh, I love C.S. Lewis. But I totally see what you are saying- I would drop out of that book club!! It sounds too much like homework.
I bet you would like Surviving the Applewhites. I read it to my son last year and it was fun! Other than that, I read a lot of religious and historical books- so I guess I am a little boring, too!!

rachel said...

I'd be in YOUR book club any day Amy. ;-)

LegalRunner said...

haha well, Cyrano kind of rocks. Trust me. And if you don't want to read it, there's a Steve Martin movie version...just so you know :)