Coming Soon: Dr. Jared Lawson
May 7th, 2007

It's been a while since I've posted. The delay can be blamed on two factors. First, I'm totally finished with graduate school and I no longer have the motivation to procrastinate. And second, Jared and I are in Maine. We came to Maine on a 'business trip.' In other words, Jared had a few interviews.

For those of you who don't know us very well, Jared is in chiropractic school. He graduates in December. We've recently take to calling Jared an "oh-doctor" instead of a chiropractor. Let me explain...

Person 1: Your husband is going to be a doctor? Wow! What kind?

Me: He's going to be a chiropractor.

Person1: Oh? Ohhhh. Oh. How nice (as their voice trails off and they turn to walk away)...

Me: (shouting as Person 1 walks away) Well...we're in just as much student loan debt as a regular medical doctor!!!! I hope you never throw your back out!!!!

And there you have it, an oh-doctor. After a promising interview, and not-so-promising interview, and a few in-betweeners, we've sort of settled on a post-graduation plan. Jared is hoping to work part-time for another oh-doctor in Farmington, and we're planning on opening our own small-scale, low-overhead practice somewhere near Augusta.

We've never owned our own business before--I mean heck, only one guy has ever even trusted us to watch his dog and cat. Despite this lack of experince, we're convinced we can make a go of it. I'm so confident in our abilities, that I'm willing to share some of our highly effective business strategies with my loyal readers. Let's talk about scoping out some good locations. So far, we've narrowed it down to a very, very promising town. This is how we've done it:

We like the location because:
  • Close proximity to the State capital.

  • High percentage of residents with health insurance.

  • One competitor who's only open part-time.

  • The local bakery has the most kick-ass brownies we've ever tried.

  • High concentration of hippies.

  • The hippies tend to drive nice cars.

  • Our waiter was really, really friendly.

And of course, we've had to knock some towns off of our "potential places" list. We've knocked them off for the following reasons:

  • A low percentage of residents with health insurance
  • Below average per capita income

  • The car that was displayed on the rotating platform at the local dealership was a '96 Grand Am with a crazy door ding. It was $2,995.

  • The only retail space available was a garage next to the tractor tire shop.

  • The local chamber of commerce was located in the corner of the gas station/tatoo parlor/tanning salon/video store.
I swear, if this thing takes off, I'm totally going to write a book about opening a business. I just feel like we have a knack for this.


Jen said...

Yay! Amy and Jared are in Maine! Of course, just in time for me to move out of state :)

Samye said...

Congrats on the will be a ton of fun to have your own business. IF we ever have any back problems we will totally fly to Maine and get Jared to take care of us!!