Don't Blog That!!!
May 13, 2007

My mother and father, being the very devoted parents that they are, came all the way to Texas for my graduation this weekend. They hopped on a plane after work on Friday, drove to Wichita Falls and back for graduation on Saturday, and left for the airport this morning by 9am. Yes, they are half super-hero.

One of the first things my mother mentioned to me when she pulled into my apartment complex in a rental mini-van was the fact that she's been reading my blog. Apparently, she thinks it's quite funny. However, her primary feeling surrounding my blog is fear. Fear that she is going to do something silly enough that I will write about it for the world to see.

Welp....Hi Mom!!! This blog's for you!

This weekend was great--freaking hilarious. Every time my mom would make a Freudian slip, or trip on a sidewalk crack she'd look at me with wide, begging eyes and say, "Don't blog that Amy...seriously don't blog that." Well, it is mother's day, and the 4th (?) commandment instructs me to honor my mother and father, so I'm going to let my mom off the hook.

Don't worry mom, I will spare you embarrassment by not blogging about the time you ran over the parking curb with the rented Dodge Caravan.

I won't blog about the fact that you wanted to park the rent-a-van in an isolated end spot for fear of door dings. And I certainly won't mention the fact that you wanted to protect the van by parking it in my friend's driveway across the neighborhood rather that in our busy apartment parking lot.

Oh, and I wouldn't dream of discussing the time you drove off the road because you were looking at a big train. I definitely understand how eye-catching and distracting they can be. Or the second time you drove off the road (and then back on, and then back off, and then back on) because you were watching a baby cow stretch the same way your dog does. I agree with you that the steering on that van was more than a little wonky.

Remember the time that you slammed on the breaks while driving 75 miles per hour down route 287? That incident will stay between us. Bit I will say that I thought it was funny when dad woke up from his nap because he was thrown forward, over the middle bench seat. I liked it when he exclaimed (in his groggy sleeping voice) "Help me Mary and Joseph!" It's nice to see his strong Catholic faith, and reliance on the holy saints in action. Seriously mom, don't worry about that. Dad said that the coffee from the Hot Skillet Restaurant was well worth the rude awakening.

As you can see, some things were just never mean to be blogged. So I won't.

Mom, thanks for the trip down memory land in the rent-a-van. It brought me right back to the '87 brown and tan Ford Aerostar. How very grateful I am that James was able to experience such a vivid reenactment of my childhood adventures. I agree that the steering and breaks were both a little off, and I certainly agree with your declaration that you're "very, very proud of your good driving record." You should be.

Thanks for traveling a million miles to see me graduate, and most of all...Happy Mother's Day! I love you a million!


Anonymous said...

I bumped into the curb.I did not drive over it. xo

The Ramos Family said...

And a happy mother's day to you too :)

Got to see Kristina and Josh this weekend for his graduation, however, that also meant I got to see the in-laws too...hmmmm they would give you endless things to blog about.

Rob & Katy said...

amy, you're ability to capture mom in action is a gift from Mary and Joseph. Thanks for a hearty laugh... I feel like I was there! Oh, and CONGRATS!

Sarah said...

My parents are similarly freaked out by the existence of this blog every time I come to visit them. I wish the threat of blogging about misdeeds worked on controling the behavior of my toddler...

Thanks for the link! Good luck being a granola in TX. I went to High School there and I can count the granolas I met there on one hand. What don't people understand about the joys of hairy legs?

I hope you don't mind if I keep an eye on this blog... I don't have a cubicle, but I don't snort as much as I'd like.

Michemily said...

Wow! I read a comment you left on my sister Amy's blog, so I decided to check out yours. Fortunately for me, your blog is hilariously entertaining. Unfortunately for my younger sister, she wanted complete silence while she watched Lord of the Rings 3. Thanks for writing!

MillerFam said...


It's me again (amy, Beth's sister). For god's sake, I have GOT to get to my sinful novel and hit the sack. BUT, I do have to say that is about the hardest I have laughed since watching the 40 year old virgin. Thank you for that moment of respite. You are dang funny girl!!