June 20, 2007
**WARNING: I'm feeling a little deflated today**
I think wedding rings are ridiculously outdated, but five years ago we liked the idea. I'll tell you what, if we had to do it all over again we'd be exchanging very different gifts at the altar. We would exchange trumpets, or airhorns, or buzzers, or gongs...you get the idea.
I think these types of instruments could really increase the quality of communication in our marriage. As soon as I began to nag, Jared could toot the airhorn or play a B flat on the trumpet. I'd have to stop, no questions asked, and we'd move on with our day without so much as a grudge. It would be good.
Yesterday, I most definitely would have used my instrument on Jared. I would have sounded the gong the moment he walked in the door, visually sized up my outfit, and gave me a somewhat disapproving look. I could have buzzed him in time to stop him from weakly smiling and saying:
"Ohhhh. That's your new shirt. I've got to be honest with you, Amy. I really, really don't like it."
But I couldn't. He said it. And with that comment off went the shirt, the shorts, the belt, the makeup, the push-up bra, the necklace, the watch, and the smile. I regretfully recinded my efforts, and changed back into my regular old mom clothes.
I really do wish I had an airhorn. My ears would be done hurting by now. But my feelings? They're still aching pretty badly.