The Lawsons did Dallas!

I Would Rather be Riding a Giraffe
June 9, 2007

Isn't PMS strangely amazing? Seriously, it induces feelings that are completely unjustifiable and out of this world. Take right now for example--Jared is sitting on the other couch innocently and quietly enjoying Saturday Night Live. It's totally pissing me off. Actually, he's been on my nerves pretty much all night.

• First, he wouldn't decide on the pizza toppings and insisted that I choose....GRRRR!!!
• Then, he made me stop and listen to the bugs chirping in the peaceful, quiet countryside...Oh C'MON!!!
• Now he wants to check his email on my laptop....NO. NO. NO!!! He should get his own freaking prized possession.
• He also told me that I looked unbelievably beautiful on our wedding day....I guess he thinks I got fat.
• Prince just released a new album...Somehow, that has got to be Jared's fault.
• The salad-mobile on the Jack-in-the-Box commercial appears to be far more practical than our station wagon.
• And last but not least, he's wearing a belt! A freaking belt!!! And he keeps touching it. I don't know why, but that just makes me hope he decides to sleep under the bed instead of in the bed.

Oh, my poor, unfortunate, sweet, sweet husband. I hope and pray that the universe will bestow him with bountiful and practical blessings...like the gift of invisibility, a body double, and a reasonably priced duplex. He truly deserves them all.

And now? I'm going to put on seven layers of clothing and hide in the back corner of my closet. That should definitely improve my mood.