A Slip of the Tongue
June 4, 2007

I know that Texas has a reputation for being all dry and dessert-like, but let me tell you...if you haven't seen a thunderstorm in Texas, then you haven't seen a thunderstorm. And yesterday, we had one heck of a thunderstorm.

We were on our way to church in the morning, and could barely see out the front windshield of our Toyota. I had conveniently forgotten our umbrella at church the Sunday before, so we were already soaked...and when I say soaked, I mean that I would have been more covered up by one of those peek-a-boo bras and a strip of saran wrap than I was by my drenched white blouse.

So we're driving along, singing songs about rain to James, when I see a guy that I recognize making his way down the sidewalk. I didn't know his name, or even know him personally, but I knew for a fact that he was walking to our church...I had seen him a million times. So I told Jared to pull over and pick him up.

I rolled down the windown and shouted: "Are you going to the Mormom church?"

He replied: "Yup."

So I said: "Us too. Hop in."

He climbed into the back and wedged himself in, next to James's gigantic bark-o-lounger-type carseat. By this point, my teeth were chattering. Plus, I felt a little nervous about having a stanger in my car. And if you know me well, you know that I garble my words severely when I feel a little jittery. Like in an interview for example...they'll ask me about my biggest weakness and I plan on giving them the classic reply--sometimes I work too hard. But since I'm nervous, it will come out as--"A lot of times I really don't work very hard." [sidenote: this is why I'm a babysitter with a master's degree]

So this perfectly nice guy, who is about my age, is sitting in our back seat. I turn around and say, "Hi. We're the Lawsons. I'm Amy, this is Jared, and that's James."

The guy replies, "Hi. Thanks a lot for picking me up, I'm Bobby."

And without a moment's hesitation, in all of my nervouse glory, I make eye contact with Bobby and in my very coolest voice say, "Oh. Well hey Baby. What's up?"

James sat clueless. Bobby looked kind of shocked. Jared was smiling one of his very satisfied smiles over in the drivers seat. And me? I'm planning to use cue cards as my primary means of communication from this point forward.

6 comments:

Rob & Katy said...

tyler looks very confused about why i am laughing uncontrollably!

Grandma said...

when you use a pickup line like that you are not usually w/ your husband and child.....smoooooooth amy!

Toad and Sue said...

several of my friends have checked out your blog thanks to my super-duper hyperlinks to your blog from my blog and guess what...they all say the same thing, (in an almost surprised tone) "she's funny, she really is funny"

h\ said...

that is the funniest thing i've read in a while. i almost peed my pants b/c of my weak bladder (from the parasite, oh i mean fetus growing inside of me!) i started laughing out loud hysterically. that was awesome. i can even see jared's grin! priceless.

january said...

h/ is short for january. why did i have to use a shortened name? b/c i have a 2 yr old climbing on me and the laptop asking for more water in his full sippy!

Joy Through Cooking said...

so wait he didnt give you the "how YOU doin?" back then?!?! Whats the point of hitting on a guy in your car with your husband and child on your way to church if he wont at least have the decency to 'hit back'?