June 22, 2007
So I got a voicemail from my sister today. It said something to this effect:
"...Amy. My kid is cute, isn't he? I know I'm his mother, so I probably think he's a little cuter than most people, but I'm pretty sure he's at least normal looking. Anyway, I took him to Sear's to get his portrait done, and he looks crazy in those pictures. How could they make my baby look strange, Amy? Why did I pay them to make Tyler look so bad?"
I deleted the message, hung up the phone and kind of giggled to myself. My nephew Tyler is a very, very attractive child. I figured that my sister was simply acting as an overly picky consumer--a little stage-mommish if you will. And then I saw the pictures.
Katy wasn't overreacting. According the the proofs I viewed online, this photographer definitely has the ability to make Barbie herself look like a Cabbage Patch Kid...all chunky, and yarn-haired, and buck-toothed. Just look at that picture of my normally dashing nephew.
I can just picture it. The photographer was probably like, "Mmmm....let me just focus this lens, and turn this light a little bit to the left, and...voila! The perfect picture!" Then he enthusiastically turned to my sister and said, "Ma'am, I managed to capture your child just beautifully. His ears appear to be two inches lower than normal, his hair is ever so spiky, and his chin resembles a three cheeked monkey bum." And I'm sure my kind-hearted sister was extremely complimentary and overly polite about the whole experience.
Poor photographer--he should seriously consider the idea of transferring to the hardware department at Sear's. I bet he'd be good at mixing paint.
Oh, and here's some proof that my nephew really is a looker--http://robkatytyler.blogspot.com/