The Real Me Likes the Real Her
July 23, 2007
I totally hate to admit it, but I like daytime TV. I especially like the small-claims court shows like Judge Mathis, Judge Joe Brown, and most recently, Judge Maria Lopez. Dang y'all, that little lady is as tough as nails...and a fellow New Englander I might add. She can barely see above the bench, but she has this low, raspy voice and I would never want to meet up with her in a dark alley because she could totally kick my trash.
I don't know how it's happened, but in recent weeks I've been planning my days off around this shiz. When I'm watching Judge Lopez I make sure not to multitask at all--I don't eat, I don't fold laundry, I don't paint my toenails, and I definitely don't answer the phone--I focus. I've even been known to decline a play date or two so I can spend some quality couch time with my girl in black.
I've learned so much from this show, and the commercials, too. I've learned everything you need to know about bail bonds, I've learned all about the educational programs available at Remington College, and I've learned which lawyer to call if I ever get in a car wreck--1-800-the-dawgs (very easy to remember). Oh, and the suspense today with the certified gemologist was something else...my armpits are still sweaty from the tension of it all.
I'd really love to be able to say that I spend my days immersed in the classics, listening to orchestra music, and forming opinions based on NPR's political snippets, but that would be a total bold faced lie. I spend my days off listening to Aerosmith CDs, watching Judge Lopez, and snacking on store brand oreos.
I do like the art museum and I take James there from time to time, but I'd really rather chill in the gerbil section at Petco. I think I could sit through the ballet, and it would probably be really good for James, but I daydream about taking my kid to the next monster truck rally.
I guess I'd like to be more sophisticated, but I just can't help these behaviors. This is the real me, there's no denying the real me, and I love the real me.
But I've got to admit, if I had known how much I'd be outing the 'real me' on this blog, I would have thought twice about starting it.