The Lawsons did Dallas!

My Purpose in Life
August 4, 2007

I quite obviously didn't get the chance to post yesterday. I usually take the weekends off, but I really don't want to let my 11 readers down, so here I am posting on a Saturday.

Jared's been out of town, and things have been just crazy. My hat goes off to single moms everywhere, because I quite honestly don't know how they keep it all together. I've only been flying solo for a few days but things have fallen to hell already--the dog hasn't pooped in 48 hours, James has been wearing the same shirt since Thursday, the laundry is completely out of control, and the dishes are piled up to my chin.

But honestly, my household duties aren't what kept me from blogging yesterday. Not at all. You see, I found a new hobby and it's amazing. Would you like to hear more about it? Great. It's called 'pissing away money on crap.' Some people like to refer to it as burning money, or blowing money, or being an idiot. Call it what you will, but reckless spending is unbe-frickin-lievably fun, and I suggest you all rush out and try it.

So what, you might wonder, have I been pissing away my money on? Cars toys. Duh. You know...not quite an action figure, but not quite a matchbox car...they're little die cast toys of all the characters from the Disney movie Cars. That's a picture of one up there in the corner. That's 'Sarge' and he's the only one I need to complete my, woops I mean James's, beloved collection.

It all started quite innocently, with one character. Then my mom mailed three more to James. And this weekend, I'm embarrassed to admit, the collection has grown to twelve. They're just so hard to resist. The back of the package has firmly instructed me to "Collect them All" and they're the first toys that I've ever seen James really role-play with. He'll hold Lightning McQueen in his left hand and Fillmore in his right and make them talk:

My name es Wa-keen!
My name es Fee-mo!
Yet's dive awoun!
Otay! Vrooommm...errrrrr!!!!!!

Translation:
My name is Lightning McQueen!
My name is Fillmore!
Let's drive around!
Okay! Vroooommmm.....errrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!

Come now. How adorable is that? Based on that through-the-roof cuteness factor, we have been to half of the Target, Kohls, WalMart, and Toys R Us stores in the DFW Metroplex in the past two days, and consequently our bank account has dwindled to $12.53. We've also skipped meals and had to nap in the car in pursuit of our shared passion, but I think it's well worth it.

This hobby has given enormous amounts of new meaning to my life--especially since my closest friend in Dallas had a baby a week ago and is no longer available for our regular morning walks, our midday email exchanges, and an occasional afternoon rendez-vous at the park. I no longer miss Beth. Nope, not even a little bit. I have 12 die cast metal friends that have replaced her, and they will never ever have babies. Toys, you see, are produced...not reproduced.

So, if anyone is browsing around their local department store and happens to see Sarge, mail him to me, ok? No, seriously, send me an email and I'll send you my address. It will be great! You'll have my personal information (what fun!), I'll send you a thank you note, post some flattering pictures of you on my blog, and email you the home recorded version of me singing 'Endless Love.' It makes a very nice cell phone ring tone, it really does.