My Purpose in Life
August 4, 2007

I quite obviously didn't get the chance to post yesterday. I usually take the weekends off, but I really don't want to let my 11 readers down, so here I am posting on a Saturday.

Jared's been out of town, and things have been just crazy. My hat goes off to single moms everywhere, because I quite honestly don't know how they keep it all together. I've only been flying solo for a few days but things have fallen to hell already--the dog hasn't pooped in 48 hours, James has been wearing the same shirt since Thursday, the laundry is completely out of control, and the dishes are piled up to my chin.

But honestly, my household duties aren't what kept me from blogging yesterday. Not at all. You see, I found a new hobby and it's amazing. Would you like to hear more about it? Great. It's called 'pissing away money on crap.' Some people like to refer to it as burning money, or blowing money, or being an idiot. Call it what you will, but reckless spending is unbe-frickin-lievably fun, and I suggest you all rush out and try it.

So what, you might wonder, have I been pissing away my money on? Cars toys. Duh. You know...not quite an action figure, but not quite a matchbox car...they're little die cast toys of all the characters from the Disney movie Cars. That's a picture of one up there in the corner. That's 'Sarge' and he's the only one I need to complete my, woops I mean James's, beloved collection.

It all started quite innocently, with one character. Then my mom mailed three more to James. And this weekend, I'm embarrassed to admit, the collection has grown to twelve. They're just so hard to resist. The back of the package has firmly instructed me to "Collect them All" and they're the first toys that I've ever seen James really role-play with. He'll hold Lightning McQueen in his left hand and Fillmore in his right and make them talk:

My name es Wa-keen!
My name es Fee-mo!
Yet's dive awoun!
Otay! Vrooommm...errrrrr!!!!!!

Translation:
My name is Lightning McQueen!
My name is Fillmore!
Let's drive around!
Okay! Vroooommmm.....errrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!

Come now. How adorable is that? Based on that through-the-roof cuteness factor, we have been to half of the Target, Kohls, WalMart, and Toys R Us stores in the DFW Metroplex in the past two days, and consequently our bank account has dwindled to $12.53. We've also skipped meals and had to nap in the car in pursuit of our shared passion, but I think it's well worth it.

This hobby has given enormous amounts of new meaning to my life--especially since my closest friend in Dallas had a baby a week ago and is no longer available for our regular morning walks, our midday email exchanges, and an occasional afternoon rendez-vous at the park. I no longer miss Beth. Nope, not even a little bit. I have 12 die cast metal friends that have replaced her, and they will never ever have babies. Toys, you see, are produced...not reproduced.

So, if anyone is browsing around their local department store and happens to see Sarge, mail him to me, ok? No, seriously, send me an email and I'll send you my address. It will be great! You'll have my personal information (what fun!), I'll send you a thank you note, post some flattering pictures of you on my blog, and email you the home recorded version of me singing 'Endless Love.' It makes a very nice cell phone ring tone, it really does.

10 comments:

Grandma said...

what did we start w/ Mater?? sounds like fun for Mom and James,too...You know I will look for Sarge! xo

Jes said...

I found your blog through the RunnersWorld forum, and I must say that I look forward to reading it. You are quite the gifted writer, and I am constantly amused by your tales. Thank you! Have a great week!

Jes

Amy said...

Oh Jes, you've officially made my night...and my day tomorrow, too!
Thanks for reading!!!

Busy Little Bee said...

I'll have to poke my head into the stores in So. Maine and see what I can find.

Anonymous said...

how cute is Hamm the little pig vehicle?got him for James:)

Penny said...

When you consider it's an investment in your son's overall well being, it seems like a darn good deal! Playtime and exercising the imagination, it's a good think (yes, think, not thing). Doubly nice that you're getting a kick out of it too.

I seriously think you should market your baby-talk translation skills. :-)

I whole-heartedly agree with Jes, you are a gifted writer. You could market that too (I'm so not kidding)!

Grandma said...

even Tyler helped us look for Sarge!

Vanilla said...

My 2 year old is big into Cars stuff too. He has Lightning McQueen shoes and a hat that he even wears to bed. Hey, if it makes him happy to go to bed in his McQueen hat who am I to fight it.

MillerFam said...

Ok, so I have been totally out of the loop driving middle sis to NY for law school. I am sure Beth filled you in on that one. BUT, I do have to say, we have the ENTIRE cars collection. This would even include Guido and Luigi when they got dressed up to cheer on Doc when him and lightnin' raced that one time. Brian (hubby) got obsessed. You can find them easly, but not always cheaply, on eBay. Good luck to you. James is welcome over anytime to peruse our collection. I am glad to know I am not the only one out there!!

audrey h. said...

Hi Amy....I have been reading your blog for awhile but this is my first time leaving a comment. It took you posting about my sons obsession to make me say something :o) I hope you found Sarge since he was the hardest one for us to find. All we kept finding was the policecar(didn't anybody like him, lol). Try not to let the obsession go past the little die cast cars cuz then it is all downhill, lol. My son just had his third birthday party with a 'Cars' cake and he got lots of cars stuff from everyone. Someone even got him a 'cars' ceiling fan for his 'cars' themed bedroom. All I gotta say is he better love that room for quite a few years :o) Thanks for having such a humorous blog to visit.