August 15, 2007
Never say that rednecks aren't innovative. Smart? Maybe not. Innovative? You bet your step-sister's ass they are.
They use tin foil for roof repairs. They use their ride-on lawn mowers for transportation after the weekend's DUI. They use their cousin as their spouse. And most recently, they use duct tape as a disguise.
That guy up there, Casey Kazee, made the decision to rob a liquor store yesterday. In a moment of quarter-brained inspiration he decided to wrap his head in duct tape to disguise himself from security cameras. Why use a fast and easy-to-remove knee-high stocking or ski mask when you can wrap your head in the stickiest tape known to man? When your face is beet red, your eyes brows have completely vanished, and your head is covered in lint and dog hair, what in the hell are you supposed say to the cops? "Nope, not me! I didn't cover my head in duct tape sir, it's always this sticky."
Just to add some dimension to the story, Kazee pulled his shirt up over his head, imitating the world infamous 'Cornholio' character from the Beavis and Butthead cartoon. Today, the people of the United States have taken great joy in hearing local newscasters use the word 'Cornholio' over, and over again.
Kazee passionately denies that he is the duct tape bandit--who made off with two rolls of nickles. If you'd like to see this hillbilly-ghetto-super-star in action, click here.
Trust me, you want to click there.