The Lawsons did Dallas!

Shout Outs!

August 9, 2007

It's been a while, and it's due time that I do some shouting out to my friends around the block.

The first Shout Out! goes to:

THE BIZ-NATCH AT JACK IN THE BOX

(DON'T PRETEND YOU DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE)

I was supposed to get $6.44 in change. Do you think I didn't notice that you only gave me $1.44? Am I really supposed to think you couldn't hear me knocking on your Plexiglas window? Well I don't, because I know, beyond the shadow of a doubt that those are not noise cancelling headphones you wear. I will gitch-you, you nasty lady. I don't know when, or where, or how, but watch your back because one strategically placed banana peel with bruise your Jack-in-the-Box ass--so bad!

Glad I got that off my chest. I'm over it, I forgive you. Believe me, I could use an extra five bucks, too.

And the second Shout Out! goes out to:

SUSAN

Susan is a somewhat friendly reader from the Midwest, who might take mommy blogging just a tad too seriously. I like Susan because she sent me my first ever piece of fan mail, which boosted my self-esteem more than I'd like to admit. But I struggle with Susan based on the content of her letter:

Amy,

I like your blog but I can't help but think some of your stories are made up. Also, you come across as being quite negative at times...blah, blah, blah, etc.

Sincerely,

Susan

I would like to take this opportunity to respond to Susan.

Dear Susan,

Thank you for your email. I like having fans, even when they're not so adoring. I must disagree with you when it comes to your comment regarding my negativity. Rather, I would term myself a realist.

For example, yesterday James attempted to flush his own hand down the toilet--repeatedly. If I were negative I would blog like this: James is trying to flush his hand. I'm cracking under the pressure, I'm unhappy in my marriage and life, and I need to get some therapy.

If I were strangely positive (as you seem to prefer), I would blog like this: Awwww! James is trying to flush his hand down the toilet :o) I'm so grateful that he's taking interest in the potty and that his developmental skills are right on track. That's m'boy! :) (o:

But since I'm a realist, I blog like this: James has been trying to flush his hand down the toilet for two hours. I'm loving the free time. Oh, and remind me to put anti-bacterial soap on my shopping list.

I would also like to set the record straight and beg your forgiveness because, yes, I make things up--all the time. I'm actually the assistant CFO of a fortune 500 company and I really love to blog in my spare time. I am a 52 year old male who makes $349,000 annually, and I'm sitting in my corner office on the 68th floor of a high rise as I type.

**Sidenote: I am single, so if you'd like to go out, just leave a comment**

It is quite true that I have a two year old son named James. However, he is a very reasonable human being, he rarely misbehaves, and he far prefers flashcards to toys. He has been potty-trained for 4+ months and has little trouble speaking in full sentences.

Sincerely,

Roger P. McSchmidtyschnuts (stage name: Amy Lawson)