The X-Ray Machine
August 30, 2007

Today, I'm happy to announce that I have a temporary, yet wonderful reprieve from my normal babysitting routine. Instead of watching my friends' boys from eleven until nine, they're not getting dropped off until four.

** and cue the heavenly singing**

James is down for his afternoon nap, so here I am, lying on the couch, eating cookies and watching Martha Stewart. I'm no expert, but I think this remarkably similar to how the afterlife will be.

I love Martha Stewart. She's a total biznatch, and I just can't get enough. I especially enjoy the way she enunciates her Ts, Ds, Ns, and various other letters of the alphabet--I think she picked up that habbit when she was in the pen. Incarcerated women are widely know for their beautiful alliteration.

So Martha was all like, "Mmm...these very preTTy coD fillets tasTe oh so gooD with..." when the phone rang.

It was Jared, and he was calling to update me about a few potential properties for his chiropractic office. One real estate ad pictured an x-ray machine, and from the way the ad was worded, it was very difficult to know if the machine was included in the deal. So Jared called to clear it up with the agent, and then called me to fill me in on what was up.

Jared: No, it's just a led-lined room, the x-ray machine isn't part of the deal.

Me: Oh, ok.

Jared: Yeah, apparently the guy who used to own it donated it to some third world county.

Me: Oh, that's SO nice.

Jared: No it's not! He could have donated it to me. I'm JUST as poor as the people in those countries!

Me: Ummm...ya wanna rethink that comment?

Jared: You're right, they don't have colleges in third world countries.

Me: See? We're way better off!

Jared: No! No colleges means no student loan debt. Amy--we're POORER than these people!

Yeah, compassion isn't necessarily my husband's strongest quality. But somehow, I just can't help but love this man.


Melinda said...

That heavenly singing happens at my house when the kids are at school. ;)

Marcy said...

Martha is one scary mo-foer. She gives me the creeps. Serial killer written all over her LOL

ali said...

When I have a day off I love watching daytime TV. It's like a guilty pleasure.

Grandma said...

but Jared it's not like you want an x-ray machine like you want a Corvette, you NEED one, so if you were a little earlier w/ your connection....well you know what I mean. and Amy check out Martha's new line at Michael's crafts.... she did her time and came out even bigger! xo