The List
August 31, 2007

I personally believe that in order to maintain sanity in marriage, it's very important to preserve a sense of individuality. It seems to me that almost everything is shared or merged once you say 'I do'--from toe nail clippers to pets to bank accounts--whether you like it or not, it's fifty-fifty.

With the exception of my laptop and Jared's fishing equipment, we have rarely tried to fight this natural trend. We have, however, tried to maintain our personal interests. For example, Jared likes fishing, camping, skiing and hiking. I like eating, sleeping, babysitting and crying.

In addition to these hobbies, we have, since the first day of our marriage, made a joint effort to preserve one more piece of our personal lives...we call it 'The List.' If you're a close friend or family member, then you probably know about 'The List.' But if you're a casual acquaintance from cyber-space, let me fill you in. 'The List', which is short for 'The List of People I Would Make Out With Even Though I'm Married', is pretty self-explanatory, don't you think?

Now 'The List' is not some type of free-for-all-craziness. That would be gross. There are very specific rules pertaining to it's development. In case you're interested in developing your own, here are the guidelines:

1. The list may contain up to three people.
2. The people on the list must be, at the very least, D class celebrities (so no, we can't be like "The plumber is on my list, ok?")
3. The people on the list must be carefully discussed and agreed upon by both parties.
4. The people on the list cannot be freaky.

Jared's list currently contains two ladies: Sheryl Crow and Jennifer Aniston.

Well done Jared! Great choices if I do say so myself.

Please don't misunderstand, I'm straight as an arrow, but I also find Sheryl Crow to be absolutely smokin' hot. When she picks up that old guitar and starts belting out Leaving Las Vegas, I just can't hold myself back. Even if I'm driving alone down the freeway I use my hands to swing big circles above my head and I'm like "I LOVE YOU SHERYL!!!!!"

And Jennifer Aniston? If Jared didn't claim that Ms. Anistion was totally fine, then I think I'd have to leave him for someone who wasn't battling with a compulsive lying problem. She's a fox, so stop pretending like you disagree.

Jared decided to remove Katie Couric from his list a few months ago, on the grounds that her lips are shrinking. That was a happy conversation. I was so relieved that he had finally come to his senses. He was equally relieved when I made the choice to remove Matt Lauer. Yeah, I guess it was a bit of a dark time for both of us.

So who, you might be wondering, is on my list? Well, it's changed a few times throughout our five year marriage and has included various hotties such as Ty Pennington and Will Smith. Currently, however, my list is composed of two VERY fine gentlemen: Curtis, The Take Home Chef from TLC (pictured above) and Michael Buble.

Mm. Mm. Mm. No additional details required.

So, who's on your list?


smelly said...

Have you noticed how giddy and giggly all the women are on Take Home Chef? They get home, then the women change and get all dolled up! Everyone loves Curtis! Nice choice. PS. I hope you grocery shop while dressed to the nines.

Grandma said...

ever notice how the women change into the "dinner" outfit long before the husband gets home. Curtis is no dummy!I'd have to be airbrushed for him to choose me at Whole Foods..or it would have to be "Find a Granny Week" now the DQ guy have to get home to tell me if he looks like Mark Consuelos to you,too! Jared...wondered if Katie Couric was still on your list. What about Ann Curry? Bill said she's 55!

carrie said...

Jared Leto when he was on My So Called Life!

That is all I need...

The Ramos Family said...

Joe and I have a similar list, only we each get five people. The first three were really easy for me to pick, but once you know you only have two men left to pick, you get really choosy (as if this was real Matt Damon will walk through my front door, see me in my sweat pants and fall instantly in love...ok, that's my dream).

P.S. Can't wait for my magnet!

Marcy said...

Ohhhhh my this would be too hard for me. I have so many on my list it would be hard to narrow it down to 3 LOL I'm a celeb pretend boyfriend whore :P

RunningCrazyAfter3 said...

I'm with Marcy. I have too many pretend boyfriends to even begin mentioning :-X I am, however, currently on a MLB kick, so I am pretty sure most of them would fall into that category.

krystyn said...

Great post and list! As for my list...#1 would be Mark Ruffalo *sigh* and #2 would be Steve Carell (I'm sure that sounds strange, but I think he's adorable).

Melinda said...

Oooh...I wonder if I could get my hubby to play this game...

Vanilla said...

Alright, time for a little testosterone in the comments section.

My list would be:

Jessica Biel
Jennifer Aniston
Christina Aguilera (Sorry, I don't have a good explanation for that one.)

Amy said...

While I agree that Christina is hot, I think she's knocked up, and that makes it a little gross.

Anonymous said...

The Take home chef guy is HOT! He's totally on my list too.

Then I have Johnny Depp as a pirate and Matt Damon as a spy (Bourne Movies)


RunningCrazyAfter3 said...

Yeah, but Xtina is drrrrty. You gotta love that :P

Grandma said...

ok,ok I'll play,too! (but only to bake them cookies,not interested in a relationship- 1.Xibit the rapper because he is so nice to the people with messed-up cars on Pimp my Ride on TLC, 2.Taylor Hicks- since I liked him from the start. 3. Paul McCartney since I first saw him on The Ed Sullivan Show...did anyone see him watching the Red Sox/Yankees game the other night?

Grandma said...

wait a minute,Pimp My Ride is on a different network,I think..must have been confused w/ Miami or LA silly of me!

ali said...

Oh, Curtis, very very good choice!

I love a list ...

Matthew McConaughey, and it's not all about making out, I think we would really hit it off ... like soul mates

Johnny Depp, there's just something dirty about him

Jon Bon Jovi, totally about making out

RunningCrazyAfter3 said...

ROFLMAO that grandma picked Xibit!!! That is great stuff right there!

Jes said...

Oh my gosh... so many yummy people to choose from. Just off the top of my head I'd have to go with David Beckham (thank you Vanilla!), Keith Urban (without the drinking problem), and Matthew McConaughey (those arms... yum).

And I have no idea who this Take Home Chef person is! I must google!

J~mom said...

Matt Damon...did you see Bourne Ultimatum...yummy..yummy

Orlando Bloom....slurp


Zac Efron...ok, just kidding but he is a cutie if you are 11.

Pat said...

The original Charlie's Angels. But, I haven't changed my list since I was in high school.

I never heard of Michael Buble. Boy, I'm old.

Penny said...

Lately I'm really digging the Mr. Propane man on TV commericals. Don't ask me why - it must be how nicely he treats dumb Mr. Electricity. Well, that and his pecks, which are especially revealing when he gets wet.

Joy Through Cooking said...

Ive always done it with 5. My current list is:

Clive Owen
Mr Big
John Mellencamp (yeah, I know he could be my father and is a smoker and I DONT CARE)
Christian Bale
Matthew McC (yeah I know he is probably insne but he could just say "alright alright alright" to me all the livelong day!)

If we could have ghosts on our lists, Pre would be on mine (maybe Id get some speed back from him via osmosis) and I would reclaim a lost list-ee: Heath Ledger was TOTALLY on my list. My first thought after 'awwww matilda!' when I heard of his death was 'aw man he was on my list!' caring of me huh! Any hoo ha. Mr Big replaced him. I swooned watching SATC

Sorry so long but this is from 10 months ago... so who besides maybe Amy is reading anyhow?