The Lawsons did Dallas!

The List

August 31, 2007

I personally believe that in order to maintain sanity in marriage, it's very important to preserve a sense of individuality. It seems to me that almost everything is shared or merged once you say 'I do'--from toe nail clippers to pets to bank accounts--whether you like it or not, it's fifty-fifty.

With the exception of my laptop and Jared's fishing equipment, we have rarely tried to fight this natural trend. We have, however, tried to maintain our personal interests. For example, Jared likes fishing, camping, skiing and hiking. I like eating, sleeping, babysitting and crying.

In addition to these hobbies, we have, since the first day of our marriage, made a joint effort to preserve one more piece of our personal lives...we call it 'The List.' If you're a close friend or family member, then you probably know about 'The List.' But if you're a casual acquaintance from cyber-space, let me fill you in. 'The List', which is short for 'The List of People I Would Make Out With Even Though I'm Married', is pretty self-explanatory, don't you think?

Now 'The List' is not some type of free-for-all-craziness. That would be gross. There are very specific rules pertaining to it's development. In case you're interested in developing your own, here are the guidelines:

1. The list may contain up to three people.

2. The people on the list must be, at the very least, D class celebrities (so no, we can't be like "The plumber is on my list, ok?")

3. The people on the list must be carefully discussed and agreed upon by both parties.

4. The people on the list cannot be freaky.

Jared's list currently contains two ladies: Sheryl Crow and Jennifer Aniston.

Well done Jared! Great choices if I do say so myself.

Please don't misunderstand, I'm straight as an arrow, but I also find Sheryl Crow to be absolutely smokin' hot. When she picks up that old guitar and starts belting out Leaving Las Vegas, I just can't hold myself back. Even if I'm driving alone down the freeway I use my hands to swing big circles above my head and I'm like "I LOVE YOU SHERYL!!!!!"

And Jennifer Aniston? If Jared didn't claim that Ms. Anistion was totally fine, then I think I'd have to leave him for someone who wasn't battling with a compulsive lying problem. She's a fox, so stop pretending like you disagree.

Jared decided to remove Katie Couric from his list a few months ago, on the grounds that her lips are shrinking. That was a happy conversation. I was so relieved that he had finally come to his senses. He was equally relieved when I made the choice to remove Matt Lauer. Yeah, I guess it was a bit of a dark time for both of us.

So who, you might be wondering, is on my list? Well, it's changed a few times throughout our five year marriage and has included various hotties such as Ty Pennington and Will Smith. Currently, however, my list is composed of two VERY fine gentlemen: Curtis, The Take Home Chef from TLC (pictured above) and Michael Buble.

Mm. Mm. Mm. No additional details required.

So, who's on your list?