September 7, 2007

I'm not a stupid girl, not by any stretch of the imagination, but I'm certainly not much of an intellectual either.

Sometimes, in a fleeting moment of self betterment, I'll turn on NPR. The radio announcer will usually say something like, "The West Bank is currently experiencing the most severe conflict to date."

And I'll think, "Kanye West and Tyra Banks should totally date! I wonder if her jugs are real."

Being smart but not intellectual is a strange combination, because I'm intelligent enough to know how much of a dumb-brain I really am. For example, there are many words in the English language that I don't know the definition to, but I'm smart enough to know that I should.

One of these words is prolific. I've used it in papers, I've used in it conversations, and I even used in my thesis defense. I had no freaking idea what I was talking about. None.

Yesterday, one of my very favorite bloggers left me a comment. Maybe you noticed it. It said something like "I love how prolific your blog is." I was like, "Oh damn! What does that word mean? I hope it's a compliment."

So I went to Google and typed the following into the search box: define:prolific

Two definitions popped up. This was the first:

fecund: intellectually productive; "a prolific writer"; "a fecund imagination"

I was like, "Fecund?! What in the heck does fecund mean? Thank you Google, for the flaming hunk of shiz that you like to call a definition."

And the second definition wasn't much better. It said:

bearing in abundance especially offspring; "flying foxes are extremely prolific"; "a prolific pear tree"

Um. Whaaaaa? Apparently flying foxes like to hump. What does that have to do with my blog?

When Jared stepped in the door last night, I immediately asked him what it means to have a prolific blog. He was like, "It means that you post a lot. You update it constantly."

He paused. He smiled a nasty little smile and teasingly said, "It means you're a looooooooser."

"Well," I replied, "You're a prolific farter...and a prolific pain in my rear. So there."

Yeah, I'm afraid we're not getting intellectual in this house any time soon. But thanks for the new vocabulary word, Sarah. It's already come in quite handy.


CollegeGirl said...

I love learning new words or useless little facts, makes me feel super smart! Maybe I should sign up for a word-a-day thing.

Like how I couldn't even come up with a better word for thing?

Rob & Katy said...

Amy, does this make sense... "I am a prolific eater of Oreo Cakesters."

Amy said...

yes, I think it does.

Amy said...

I've always had an aversion to the word fecund. The relation to feces is just too close.

Jess said...

Prolific is good when it comes to anything writing related: The more you produce the better chance there is that you produced something worthwhile. That's science.

Marcy said...

Hey, us SAHM's need to keep our sanity. Posting in Blogland is like free therapy. Just think of how much money you've saved your husband. If one post equals one therapy session at $300. You've already saved $45,000. Pshaw on the husband's that scoff at us, we're only doing THEM a favor :P

And Jess does make an excellent point ;-)

Penny said...

Oh gawd, Hollywoodflakes is hysterical. Thanks for sharing that one. The Ms. Flake video knocked me out. I'll be adding it to my regular must-reads.

Also, never, ever EVER depend on Google for a definition. That site only caters to the under twenty-something beauty teen queens and their non-prolific gray cells. Always, and I mean always, use

Anonymous said...

Excuse me, but what's wrong with an under twenty-something teen queen, huh? Nothing I tell you, nothing. Everyone's got strive for something in this life. Be kinder. What nerve. Some people.

I'm a prolific eater of anything chocolate. Coco spooned out of a can qualifies. I do, however, draw the line on the squirty brown stuff that comes out of a plastic squeeze jar, blech.

Sarah said...

Sorry to give your brain the run around, Amy!! Since I'm married to a lawyer, my idea of what words are regularly used by normal people is pretty off. I hear words like, "unctuous, fungible and arbitrage" thrown around all day and finally had to figure out what they all meant to get by in my own house.

If it makes you feel any better, I gave up even turning ON NPR a few years ago. You're ahead of me there!

Charlotte said...

Amy, I don't know you. You don't know me. Somehow, somewhere, my sister came across your blog and shared it with me.

I just laughed hard i was blowing snot bubbles and choking on my tears.

Thank you. I needed that.