Chronicles of a Trophy Ho
October 13, 2007


This morning, my alarm went off at 5, I was out the door by 5:30, and on my way to Madill, Oklahoma to run a half marathon. Yes, it's true--there was a perfectly good race one mile away from my apartment, but I didn't want to do that race. You see, the race in Oklahoma had trophies--big, tall, shining, plastic trophies. The race in Dallas on the other hand, had medals--and everybody knows that medals are for wieners. So off we went, Amy and Sarah, the two biggest trophy hos in the DFW Metroplex.

As we crossed the state line, we were greeted by a towering Choctaw casino, which naturally sparked a conversation about gambling. I was like, "You know, I think I could gamble and be fine. I wouldn't get addicted. I don't have an addictive personality."

Sarah kind of snickered and replied, "Dude, you got me out of bed at 5am so we could drive three hours to get a trophy. You might have an issue."

Ok fine. I like trophies more than the average joe. Trophies provide me with meaning, purpose, and endless portions of self-esteem. When I win a trophy, I feel loved--and that, my friends, is totally normal.

Unfortunately, I completely bonked the race. But luckily, everyone was running that race in Dallas, so I mananged to pull off an age-group victory and win fourth place overall.

Here's a recap:



Just in case you've never been to Oklahoma, I'd like to set the scene for you. This piece of history was hanging in the Madill Community Center, where all of the race related festivities were held. I'm not sure if Jack Handy over there is the mayor or the sheriff, but lots of Okie men look like that handsome devil to the left. Now close your eyes, and imagine what his wife would look like. Those are the Oklahoma ladies.











That's my friend Sarah looking all double-chinned, and me looking all open-mouthed. We were just hanging around, waiting to find out if we won some trophies, trying to look sexy.










This cutie lady won the 65-69 age group for the 5k. Yes, the race was unbelievably freaking intense. I won't even attempt to recap, as words can't do it justice. At first glance I was all, "Oh my word! She's just won a 5k wearing some business casual--what a funny lady. I love her!" Then I was like, "Hey, I'm the freakazoid wearing a running skirt--that lady and me?..we're a gosh darn match made in heaven." I wanted to invite her to eat some fried pie with me after the awards, but I kind of chickened out.











This is Chris. If it weren't for Chris I'd be wedged under a trailer in Madill right now. I had an absolutely miserable race, and Chris stayed with me the entire time. He talked me out of quitting, walking, and having a violent temper tantrum by the fire station. He missed his goal time by six minutes for my sake, and then insisted that I cross the line ahead of him. Apparently, he's very well known among the Oklahoma running community for doing these sorts of favors. Hats off to Chris!

**side note: from this point forward, every person I encounter will either be placed on the "Chris List" (good), or the "Shiz List" (bad)**







Ok, this girl is SO NOT ON THE CHRIS LIST.
Get this...my friend Sarah was running along, and all of the sudden she had to take a wicked whiz--a true emergency if you will. If there had been a port-a-potty handy, I'm quite sure that Sarah would have been thrilled to make it useful. However, unfortunately, there was not--so out of pure necessity, Sarah took a little tinkle behind some lady's award winning topiary. This girl looked at Sarah and was all, "Ewww, you just peed in someone's front lawn!" So Sarah was all, "Well, at least I didn't pee on you."
And now you can see why she's my pal.









Here is a tasteful pose. I displayed appropriate self control after I claimed my trophy.

















And then there was Sarah. The picture is all messed up because she was FREAKING OUT when they called her name. She couldn't stay still for the photo, even though she was like "TAKE MY PICTURE!!!! NOW AMY! NOW!!!!" Check out the lady in pink, she's came up to me after the awards and whispered, "Wow. It's so sweet of you to take your special friend to these events." I was like, "Yes, she loves day trips--and playing Nintendo with her housemates."












I would have been SO RIPPED if anything happened to my buffalo while I was running that race. Luckily he had no accidents, sustained no injuries, and his science fair exhibit was in good shape when I returned.








Well, my race was a complete crapper, but Madill was cute, the people were fantastic, and that trophy? TOTALLY worth the drive.

27 comments:

The Ramos Family said...

So, it's almost 2:30am and I am having trouble sleeping, so I decided to do some "computer work". I was sooo excited that you had a new post up for me to read!

Congrats on the trophy!

Kate said...

WOW! AG winner and 4th overall! Not bad for a morning's work...

Taryn said...

I know you said how you all got by on a babysitter's salary was none of our bizznizz, but I'm taking a stab that selling race trophies on ebay might be your side-work??? If not, look into it... those babies are beauts!

Family Adventure said...

Congratulations. That's amazing!
- Heidi

Busy Little Bee said...

Amy, when you move to Maine, I'll be your running buddy. I've been planning to run some races but all my running buddies dropped out of sight.

Jess said...

Congratulations on the trophy! Geez, I have never won a trophy. No wait, that's not true. I have a trophy from my bowling league when my team won 1st place 3 years ago (since then, we've haven't been above 4th place), but I have never been close to placing in a run.

Secondly, my paternal grandfather is an okie. And proud of it.

Grandma said...

I did laugh when I called you to say hi and Jared said you were on your way back from a half-marathon in OK. Looks like you and Sarah had a really good time and met some nice people...especially that guy Chris!

Ali said...

Trophies, photos, and peeing in bushes ... oh my!

I love it!

Congrats on a great half and a fabulous report as usual.

I love the business casual look. Someone commented before that you look different in every photo you take ... and you do!

Michemily said...

You know, I went jogging three times this week. Without anyone. It was completely voluntary. I don't know what's gotten into me. Maybe all your wonderful experiences have gotten me looking for more . . .

Jason and Sarah said...

What do you mean you race was a "complete crapper"!? What exactly is your definition of "complete crapper? Winning anything but 1st? I think 4th overall and 1st in your AG is AWESOME...Unless there were only 4 or 5 people in the race and you were the only one in your age group. Is that the case?

Samye said...

Cute pics! We (i think) are coming down in February to run the cow town marathon...will you guys still be in TX??

Melinda said...

See, for me the coveted prize is a belt buckle. You can win those in fiddle contests. So far that elusive belt buckle has nearly been mine a few times...

Felicia said...

I think you should drill a hole in the hood of your blazer, and display your trophies proudly on the front of your car.

My brother did this with his '79 Subaru and people would leave notes on his car telling him how cool it was.

Amanda said...

OH you little trophy monger...I hope you are building a shrine or something fantastic with them so that you can get into the guiness book.

Vanilla said...

Thanks for not posting your time. That would have just depressed me.

MillerFam said...

Ame! Great job on the trophy and finishing the race. Thanks to you I know what my hubby should dress up as for Halloween. I am hoping he can grow that GORGEOUS of a mustache by the 31st, it is going to be a tough one . . . holy cow, what studs they have in good ole' Okey.

J~mom said...

My whole fam is from OK..the whole lot of them. ;>) I loved your descriptions!

Congrats on your trophy, that just rocks!!

Marcy said...

CONGRATS AMY!!!! You trophy whore :P

jahowie said...

Not a bad finish for someone who bonked. Nice trophy!!

Amy said...

Sarah...and everyone else.
There were only 27 women in the race and 4 in my age group!

My kind of race.

Jen--YES!!! We'll do some race together!

Felicia--thanks for the suggesstion! The tropies will go on the Blazer :o)

Vanilla said...

I guess I'm a wiener because I haven't stopped wearing the medal I got yesterday.

RunningCrazyAfter3 said...

Nice job on scoring the trophy! Totally worth the drive.

Mark Cuban said...

Excuse me but I'm the biggest Trophy Ho in the Metroplex!

jkrunning said...

ummm, I'm one of those Oklahoma girls...and I'm offended. Officially.

(okay not really since I only went to High School in Oklahoma and now totally claim New Hampshire as my home state, but I had you shaking in your shoes...didn't I?)

P.O.M. said...

Ok, so how do you find races with tropies??? I'll be sticking to half-marathons for a while and boy howdy would I like a trophy. I have only earned one trophy - in 8th grade - for perfect attendance. That doesn't even count.

Mother Smuckers said...

Nice.

I love the first picture but I think the dude in the stetson wins the prize.


...

Catherine M. said...

I almost stole a trophy from the YMCA because it was on the bottom of the pool and had been there for a week. I thought I'd bring it home and pretend that I'd won a swimming event.

Unfortuantly organized repression, I mean religion, makes us prize things like random acts of honesty. I left the thing at the bottom of the pool for someone else to moralize over.

I'm officially your stalker now...