Knocked Up
October 19, 2007

No, no, it's not me. I'm definitely not the one who's knocked up. If you read this blog regularly, then you know full well that the only thing I find scarier than a second child is the idea of being chased by a blood-thirsty hippo down a major freeway while a government official hovers above me in a helicopter yelling "THE WORLD HAS RUN OUT OF SNICKERS BARS! THERE ARE NO MORE SNICKERS BARS!" over his battery-powered megaphone.

It's true, that scenario is nothing short of terrifying--scares the schnit right out of my rear.

So who's knocked up? Well, let's rephrase that question...who's not knocked up.

Right now, I quite seriously know sixteen girls from church, four women from my neighborhood, and three family members who are all expecting children. I'm very excited for each and every one of them, and to commemorate these historic events, they will each be receiving one high five from yours truly, because seriously, I can't afford twenty-three baby gifts--or twenty-three now n' laters for that matter.

I'm most excited about my nephew who's due to arrive tomorrow, my niece who should make an appearance in two-ish weeks, and my sister's kid who's due in May. Yes, that's right. Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, and friends, you all read that line correctly, my sister Katy is pregnant....AGAIN!

That's a picture of her cutie son Tyler, wearing the over-sized 'World's Best Big Brother' shirt. Actually, the t-shirt's not that big, Tyler's just a bit too small. You see, unless you live in Utah, Idaho, or the heart of the ghetto, it's next to impossible to find an appropriately sized 'big brother' shirt for a nine-month-old baby. My sister's children will be a mere sixteen months apart, and based on upon that reproductive choice, I'm officially naming Katy an Honorary Mormon Mom.

So congratulations Sister Shamitz! Welcome to the fold!

I'm sure you can tell that I'm pretty damn excited about my three new nieces and nephews. If you're finding yourself unexpecdedly excited about my family's news, then hop on over to my sister's blog and wish her congratulations. Then pop by my sister-in-law's blog and wish her loads of good luck with her fast approaching due date. And then, when you've finished with that, close your eyes and send some painless labor vibes to my other sister-in-law--because dang it!, she's still blogless.

These babies will bring James's cousin count to a grand total of six. At that rate he won't need a little sibling for a long, long time. So keep 'em coming ladies, keep 'em coming!


Jess said...

Good lord, you know a LOT of pregnant women! I don't know a single one...hmmm, maybe something is wrong with the water down here.

Penny said...

Hahahah. I love the schnit story.

Wow, you don't know a lot of people who are not knocked up :-).

J~mom said...

I am not hanging around on this blog too long... I don't need any pregnancy vibes, I am so done!

Grandma said...

Oh yes,Katy will love the title of this!

Mel said...

Knowing Katy from Ivillage I know she'll think this is funny.

I couldn't be happier for all the snow flake mommas that are pregnant again but I think they're nuts (lol).

I'm all for the high 5 gift too!

Brad and Becks said...

Thanks for the shout out!!!!! I guess it's time to update my blog!!!! It's just that I haven't put on any make-up in a week....and that combined with the 30lbs of weight gain has made me avoid cameras. I will post this weekend. PROMISE!

Sue said...

EVERYONE IN THE WORLD is pregnant right now, or just had a delicious, cute baby. I can't have anymore, didn't think I wanted anymore, but everywhere I go, I see a big fat, cute baby. And I want one.

People need to cut it out with the whole multiply and replenish thing.

jkrunning said...

My kiddo's are only 15 months apart, can I be an honorary member too?

Anonymous said...

[Insert appropriate "congratulations on your fertility" comment here.]


Busy Little Bee said...

You're not the only one pregnancy scares the bejeezus out of. The mere thought sends me into a panic -- I'm not even close to ready for that sort of thing. Nor am I sure I want it.

A friend of mine has three friends who are pregnant right now -- too many for me!