Ode to Grandma
October 11, 2007























Happy birthday to my very favorite person in the entire Milky Way Galaxy--my mother. I genuinely wish that you could all spend some time with her in person, because I guarantee that you'd never forget it.

Everyone loves my mother.

If you quickly glance above, you'll see a picture of my mom dressed up as a giant birthday present--tissue paper and all. Does your mother ever dress like a life-sized gift?

Probably not.

My mom drives a sleek, black Jetta by day and a convertible, antique sports car by night. Does your mother do that?

Yeah, I didn't think so.

My mom often gets accused of being sloppy drunk at weddings when she's ingested nothing but two Diet Cokes and a cocktail wiener. Does that happen to your mother? Does your sober mom get cut off by the waiter?

Mmmm, I don't think she does.

When I was fourteen years old, my mom mistakenly sent me to my cousin's bachelorette party. She thought it would be like a bridal shower. Nope, not so much. I lost my innocence that day, as the party featured edible underoos, four chocolate peenies (in varying sizes), and a stripper who bore a striking resemblance to Richard Simmons. Did your mom ever make that mistake?

No, no, I'm quite sure she didn't.

Does your mom email you ten to twelve times daily, to relay messages like these?

The YOU'RE ALWAYS ON MY MIND email: "I had a dream James was on a quick space shuttle trip w/ the president and we were waiting on this runway for him to land! xo"

The I'LL ALWAYS BE YOUR MOTHER email: "hey Amy-Sam's Club recall on beef patties.xo"

The I'M EXASPERATED BY YOUR FATHER email: "I'm having fun as dad is making me look up winged ants online....now he is in the shower..so should I read and study all 258,000 articles...xo"

Nope, I bet she doesn't.

I'm telling you these details about my mom for one reason only: to make you sad that she's not your mother, too. If you're feeling empty right now because you wish that Kit was your mom, or even just your pal, hop over to her blog and tell her about it in a comment. I know she'll appreciate the sentiments.

Oh, and I almost forgot...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!


I LOVE YOU A MILLION!

15 comments:

Mother Smuckers said...

Holy Crap! Did Sam's really have a recall on beef patties? That's what I had for lunch.

What a lucky girl to have such a great Mom. You should send her a magnet or just buy her one on eBay.


...

Amy said...

mmm...you'll have to ask my mom. But she really did send that message a few days ago.

Good luck with that!

Rob & Katy said...

I know I'm glad she's my mom, too! Happy Birthday, Mom! We love you!

RunningCrazyAfter3 said...

Aww, what a great mom! I'm loving her getting cut off after 2 diet cokes! Happy Birthday!

Jess said...

Happy b-day to your mom!

Boston Beans said...

If there's one person who's always up for a good conga line, it's your mom! HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUNT KIT!

Grandma said...

Thanks,May!!1 I love you,too! That was a super-nice shout-out and I didn't have to prompt or pay you!!!yes mother s.... recall on angus beef patties at Sam's! I am still waiting for th magnet,too! Thanks for all the blog comments and birthday wishes. Fun to get 9 comments..oh no the doorbell just rang..it was Dad.I left my school cart and stuff in front because I had misplaced my key in the class mascot -Lucky the Lab- bag ..went on the computer and forgot my stuff out there. He just said "old age is tough,huh?" good thing for that same key Amy had to use when James locked her out! ok TMI sorry!

Grandma said...

ok that was funny.I typed May instead of Amy...that made me laugh all by itself and it really is not that funny!

Penny said...

Aww, Amy you're so sweet. Happy Birthday Kit!!!

katieo said...

The Richard Simmons-like stripper is STILL making me laugh!
What a cool mom! :)

Jessica Schessler said...

I am oh, so jealous. Seriously.

Marcy said...

Awwwhhh Happy B-Day Mom!!! ;D

jahowie said...

Happy Birthday to your Mom!! Your Mom seems really cool. Now we know where you get it. :-)

Cathy said...

You just mention casually that your mom has a blog!! Go mom! I love her format too - short and to the point!

Grandma said...

wow I got a comment form jahowie-the bike-riding Michigan monkey! thanks and also to all those other cool people and animals out there---you rock! :))