Happy Belated Birthday, Gracie

November 16, 2007

You might have noticed that I have a dog. Her name is Gracie, she's a brindle colored greyhound, and she's eight years old.

Don't get me wrong here--I like my dog, but I'm definitely not the type to gush about an animal. Hell, I don't even gush about my husband or my kid. I leave the really yummy emotional stuff for the finer things in life--like Slurpees, and fudge, and car-wash coupons.

Gracie gets walked anywhere between three and six miles a day, she eats all-natural-premium dog food, and I do whatever I can to keep her alive--so I'm a good dog owner. I don't however, feed her from the table, dress her up in princess costumes, and it's never even occurred to me to refer to her as my "child" or "baby" or even as my "fur-baby." So I guess I'm not a lovey-dovey dog owner.

She's my dog, she lies around breathing, and that's all there is to it.

Today, as I walked Gracie around the park, I ran into a mom who I recognize from the neighborhood. I really should know her name, but I don't--that's how close we are. She was pushing a stroller containing her toddler daughter and walking a chocolate lab. She saw me, I saw her, and we waved to each other from a distance.

We approached one another, and I said something to her like, "Hi! How are you guys today?!" as I made a goofy face at the little girl.

She seemed to be in a really good mood and replied, "We're so great! It's Carly's second birthday today!"

So of course, I pretended to be excited, smiled at the baby and said, "Wow! Happy birthday Carly! You're such a big girl."

I looked up at the mother and was met with a serious, straight face. "Um," she said, "That's Kate. This is Carly." as she pointed to the lab, who was vigorously sniffing my dog's rectal opening.

"Great," I said. Trying my very hardest to act as though I cared about someone else's dog's birthday. "Are you guys doing anything special?"

Wow. Were they ever. She went on to tell me about rawhide bones, a squeaky toy that resembled a t-bone steak, a custom designed dog cake, bone-shaped balloons and wait...that's not all...a birthday party with Carly's brother who *gasp* happens to live in the neighborhood.

As I listened to the drawn-out story of discovering Carly's long lost litter mate, it occurred to me that Gracie's birthday is also in November. So as we talked, I flipped back my dog's ear and deciphered the blurry old tattoo that all racing greyhounds have.

Sure enough, there it was: 11-15-99. Gracie's birthday was yesterday, and I completely forgot about it. There was no party, no presents, no cocktails--not even an unneutered male stripper!

I can tell that Gracie's more than upset about my ridiculously insensitive oversight. She's barely gotten out of bed today, and she's been giving me the silent treatment all morning long.


Anonymous said...

It is not an unusual thing that I be jealous of the life of a dog...Carly is no exception...Gracie is.

Ohh, I love slurpees...And SLUSH PUPPIES!!!

Amy said...

If you're jealous of Carly, you're more than welcome to sniff Gracie's bum, too!!!!

Bet you're not so jealous anymore :o)

Amy said...

Oh, and I love slush puppies, too. They're far better than slurpees, but much harder to find in Dallas.

Viv said...

So, what's up? Whatshername did not invite Gracie to the party of the year(gasping)!!

Happy belated birthday, Gracie.

Grandma said...

oh Gracie...we are so going to the dog bakery when you get up here! Happy Birthday!

Penny said...

I love your racing greyhound. A friend of mine adopted one a few years ago. It was the greatest pet.

Cheryl said...

Happy Birthday, Gracie! You're such a pretty dog, even if all you ever do is lay there and fart. --This messagee is from my Weimaraner, Cooper, who would like to sniff your heinie, too.

Jes said...

I have to admit that I buy my dog "Frosty Paws" dog ice cream for his birthday every year... He loves it!

Vanilla said...

I can't believe that Gracie is treating you that way Amy. That Bitch!

Obvious joke... check.
Low brow humor... check.
Crass reference... check.

Yes, it looks like this was definitely the joke that I was supposed to post here.

Grandma said...

a birthday message has just been posted for Gracie on my blog.

chattypatra said...

Gracie, your birthday came and went
Without a doggie party or a cake
That's because Amy's not insane
Happy Birthday, anyway!

Jess said...

I'm so calling my dog my "fur baby" now!

Happy b-day Gracie!

Mary said...

I think I'll start calling Polo "fur baby." After all, that's what he is! (He's my sorta long-haired kitty)

chattypatra said...

Amy, my father wants to know why dog's feel the need to smell each other's bums. lol

P.S: He congratulates you for not being an idiot.

Tina said...

Icee's are MUCH better than Slurpees!

If it makes you feel any better, we don't do anything special for Clyde's birthday. We know when it is only b/c it's a couple of days before B's and they're the same age.

Erinclot said...

Stanley's birthday is tomorrow. He is spoiled beyond belief by two parents who call him their kid and dress him in sweaters daily. He is hairless, so it's out of neccessity here in the northern climes. Yesterday he got some jammies for Christmas morning. That said, he has never had a party and I don't know where any of his littermates are currently living. Rural Missouri I suppose. I know. I need a real kid.

Amy said...

Viv--I KNOW! Didn't help her mood..I can't tell ya that much.

Penny--Thanks! Greyhounds really make the greatest pets ever. They're very docile, tolerant of toddlers, and so kind.

Erin--I'm sure Gracie would rather live with you than us! She has a raging sense for fashion. I should admit...she has hair, but not much, so she wears sweaters, too!

P.O.M. said...

Oh man. I love dogs. They are great pets, but they are not people. Thank you for being semi-normal.

On the other hand, my mother thinks her late dog was my brother. Really. She'd say "Go say hi to your brother."
So freaky.
Alot of bloggin material lies with that woman, but she reads my blog and I can't hurt her feelings. Maybe I will after Christmas.

Sue said...

I hate my dog.

I know that has nothing to do with your post, I just can never pass up an opportunity to say that. Because seriously: I hate my dog.

Liligurl said...

Happy Birthday Gracie, from my fur-babies Riley and Annabelle...

Rick said...

The reason Gracie is so upset that forgeting one birthday for her is like forgetting seven birthdays at one time. I would be upset too if for seven birthdays no one made over me.


Rob & Katy said...

happy birthday, gracie! celebrate by doing nothing all day, except maybe getting into the pantry and eating an 4 pounds of dog food... like you did a couple of years ago.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, the moping and silent treatment sort of sounds like my house...in a way. Coincidentally, my husband's birthday was November 15 ('73, not '99) and I forgot his birthday, too. Oooooooops.

Viv said...

Allright, Amy I'm tagging you.

PMW said...

Your dog and I have the same birthday...I'm not sure how I feel about that.

On another note, the Republic of Brazil was founded on November 15 as well so you can throw that in her face next time.