Off to the Zoo

November 19, 2007

I have one very strange childhood memory. It deals with three apes at the National Zoo in Washington DC. When my parents planned the zoo as a fun activity on our family vacation, I'm quite sure they didn't realize what an inappropriate spectacle those gorillas would be. One ape was drinking his own urine, the second ape was throwing his poop at innocent spectators, and the third ape was taking drags from a discarded cigarette.

It was really messed up. Does anyone else have creepy kid memories like that?
I seriously kind of hate zoos, but my friend Beth really wants to go--and I don't want to deny James any trippy childhood flashbacks. I'll be sure to post some pictures when I get back this afternoon.

Have a fantastic morning, troops!

20 comments:

Maureen said...

My parents once took me to a Knights of Columbus Xmas Breakfast where the Santa tried to force a Gremlin puzzle on me. Because I was frightened of the Gremlins at the age of 6, I tried to politely decline...and Santa yelled at me and gave me a dirty look! It was horrible experience, and from that moment on I suffered from the trauma of thinking that Santa Clause hated me. It was horrible.
I thought about sharing the "Got Chased by a Wild Turkey in Gettysburg" story, cause that's a doozy, but it's my first comment.
LOVE your blog, Amy. You're my favorite.

Anonymous said...

Once I went to the zoo, my Aunt was a volunteer there and I joined the little group she was taking around and showing the exhibits. We got to the chimps and she stared sharing fun facts about them. I was paying more attention to her at first then I noticed as she continued speaking she would start gagging. It was getting really bad...And about that same time others where too. I looked over to the chimps behind the glass...Chimp A, I'll call him Raspukin, had just taken a massive squishy #2 on the platform. He then was sticking his fingers in it, then bringing it up to his nose to sniff. The odor was making him hurl, but he kept doing it...Then Chimp B, Mikey, was right next to him doing a headstand. Mikey, standing on his head, was grabbing chunks of Raspukin's hurl and eating them... By that time the whole lot of us were gagging and making that horrid dry-heave sound and my Aunt screamed "Danger, danger, run for the toilets!" and we all took off. When we reached safety and recoverd my Aunt was bombarded with question from the kids so she did what any mature, professional nature guide would do. She bought us all popcorn and slushies and took us to the petting zoo.

She's my favorite Aunt...And I hope this isn't too yuk for your blog.

sarahbobeara said...

that's why we avoid the primate section of the local zoo. they have bonobo monkeys and just looking at them makes me a little embarrassed for them. google them, see if you can find a full length photo ;)

hope you had a day of G-rated fun!

Rob & Katy said...

i share the same disturbing gorilla memory, amy- the pee drinking one really stuck with me...

Mary said...

At the Dallas Zoo, I once saw a male lion aim his stream of urine at the crowd. We were out of range; others were less fortunate.

chattypatra said...

I HATE the zoo. It's dirty, smelly, and the poor animals are in prison. What's fun about that?

Marcy said...

OMG I'm dying of laughter over that pic!!!

~*~ Jennifer ~*~ said...

YUCK -- apparently I'm the fortunate one whose dead beat parents never took them to the zoo.

Oh my -- I pray you have a fun day today. No yucky photos please... I was sort of enjoying your blog. ::gag::

P.O.M. said...

Zoo's are creepy. My memory was giong on a school field trip and my mom only gave me like $1.25 for lunch money. (That was the amount for school lunches, but definately not enough for the zoo). I had to borrow a dime from someone just to get a corn dog. Traumatic.

Anonymous said...

Ah yes.....Apes at the zoo.
When I was about 10 my parents and grandparents too me to the zoo. some how we all got ahead of grandma and arrived at the ape cage. There an enormous male ape was ....well, you know ah "pleasuring himself"

Well dear old grandma came around the corner and could only see this big guys head/torso, and not his lower body activity. "My", she said with her sweet old voice, "that is the biggest one I have ever seen."

Everyone around the cage including strangers burst out laughing..

Tina said...

We went to the DC zoo Labor Day weekend. It was tramatic for K b/c they have NO penguins! *Gasp* The horror of it all! :)

If you're bored and need something to do, you can read about it here:
http://mom2dbmk.blogspot.com/2007/09/labor-day-weekend.html

Have a great day!

Grandma said...

I recall it was around 98 that day at the zoo.As if that weren't bad enough, we ventured over to the gorillas where incidents 1,2,&3 took place. It wasn't fun for me either. Now can you tell about a fun outing?

Amy said...

Oh my gosh...these stories are freaking cracking me up!

Maureen--Santa was probably high..you poor child!

Anonymous--That's the best story I've ever heard. Ever.

Sarah--mmmmm. unfortunately they have those at the Dallas zoo. Not pretty.

Mary--seriously?!

Other anonymous--ok, that ties for the best story ever.

Jes said...

Last year I did some travelling over Christmas, and my friend and I went paid all sorts of cash to take a boat to some deserted island for lunch. Not only did the monkeys on the island steal our food, but one actually ran off with my backpack and began humping it like there was no tomorrow. I have always hated anything to do with the primate family and this only reinforced my hatred!

Jes said...

When I was a kid, my dad took us kids to the zoo. We were all excited about the ostrich that was standing near the board walk, until it bit my dad's hand. I thought for sure it was going to eat him!

p.s. you've been tagged. (o;

chattypatra said...

Amy, I'm taking a moment here from DWTS to ask you to tell us what happened today at the zoo. Bye!

Viv said...

My Dad chaparoned a 4th grade field trip we tool to the zoo. I was totally crushing on this kid, who was in the grop my Dad was chaparoning. My Dad turned him in to the teacher cause he was outta control.

How emabrrasing!

Topher said...

We took our three boys to the zoo recently and had a tough time explaining to them why one chimp was flipping the other chimp The Bird. The other chip, in response, would do that one arm under and over the other arm way of flipping off.

No, not really. I was going to tell about the time when we took our kids and a mother chimp was puking up her food, then she'd make a ball of it, then eat it. Repeat over and over and over again. However, "Anonymous" already told a chimp-eating-upchuck story.

katieo said...

holycrap. I'm still reeling over the first anonymous comment...

CollegeGirl said...

I've seen two ape incidents -both involving sexual endeavors. I'm sure you can figure it out. Weirded-me-out.