Second Annual Christmas Letter

November 24, 2007

Question: Do you know how The Lawsons do Dallas! got started?

Answer: It all started with a Christmas letter. You can click here to read it.

Well, okay, not exactly. But last year's Christmas letter was the very first time I realized that I had any sense of humor. Before the Christmas letter, I was a sad and lonely girl who spent four to six hours a week shedding gallons of desperate tears onto my dinosaur shaped pillow.

Okay, again, not exactly true--I do sleep with a dinosaur shaped pillow, but I didn't cry nearly that much.

The positive feedback I received from the Christmas letter gave me the idea and motivation to start this blog. And now, thanks to that off-the-cuff correspondence and a really crappy family photo, I have approximately one-thousand-two-hundred-and-seventy-two cyber friends, one disgruntled/sarcastic/cynical anonymous commenter, and more self-esteem than I know what to do with.

I'm grateful for that Christmas letter, and in an effort to honor it, I'd like to keep the tradition alive and special. So here's the deal...

If you'd like to receive your very own Second Annual Lawson Family Christmas Letter (with accompanying photo) in your mail box, then email me your mailing address with the phrase "Christmas Letter" as the subject heading.

If you're afraid of sending your mailing address because you think I might peek into your windows and sleep on the roof of your car, then I think you're a tad over-cautious. But nonetheless, I will respect your privacy. So, if you'd like to receive your very own Second Annual Lawson Family Christmas Letter (with accompanying photo) in your email inbox, then send me an email and FOLLOW THESE DIRECTIONS: put the phrase "Christmas Letter Email" in the subject heading and put your email address in the body of the email. Got that? Now please, if you fail to follow directions, then I can't guarantee you and your family any Christmas joy this season...and wouldn't that be a shame?

If you're scared of sending me your mailing address or your email address, then I can be of no help to you. Trust me, I will only come by your house if you send me a round-trip airline ticket, a voucher for three nights at a hotel with an indoor pool, and sixty bucks in Chuck E. Cheese gift certificates.

If you would love to have a Christmas letter, but you're too embarrassed to let me know that you read this blog (e.g. ex-boyfriends, ex-boyfriend's girlfriends, bosses who've fired me, church leaders, government officials, etc.), then get over it and send me your address. You know you want a Christmas letter!

And finally, if you'd like to send me a Christmas letter, I might be okay with it. For example, if you comment on this blog regularly and you seem normal, then that's fine. But if you email me and say that you're name is Dorris McDingleNutTickler or Alvin P. I'mTotallyInLoveWithYouAndReallyWantYourAddress or Mrs. CreepyAssWagger, then no--you may not send me a Christmas Card. I'll probably just give you that ex-boyfriend's address instead.

Please note that the cards might not arrive before the Christmas holiday. Just ask the haiku contest winners--they're still waiting for their prizes (I haven't forgotten you guys).

And also, please don't assume that I have your address--even if you're my best friend, in my ward, my husband, or my cousin--I probably don't know where you live.

I think that's everything.

Long live the Christmas letter! Hooray!

18 comments:

chattypatra said...

I want one! Check your e-mail.

Rob & Katy said...

Maybe that's why I never got a magnet? You lost my address?

Liligurl said...

I want one too!!! Check your email.
Hope you had a nice Thanksgiving.

Liligurl said...

I want one too!!! Check your email.
Hope you had a nice Thanksgiving.

Stimpy said...

Nice story. I ran across your blog while voting on the Weblog Awards a few weeks ago and thought it was funny and well written, so i've been stopping by ever since. It seems strange to ask for the Christmas letter since i just started reading, so i'll just wish you and yours, and your readers, a Merry Christmas.

Jes said...

I'm not shy and proper like Stimpy. I live in a foreign country, I never get mail, and I want some!!

Except my last name really is CreepyAssWagger.

I'll be emailing you my address. And I'll gladly return the favor and send you and yours a holiday card, but it won't be English. So it could be good fun making up translations...

Grandma said...

you're springing for the stamps??:)

Dorris M. said...

Check your email again.




Dorris Miggillicuddy

dee said...

Oh Geez, I'm a long time Lurker but I'd plotz to get a Christmas letter from you. You're "blow tea out your nose" funny. Besides I live way over here on the right coast and I'm not afraid. I live in NY-worse things have been found sleeping on the roof of my car.
Can't wait!

Cheryl said...

You can sleep on the roof of my car anytime you want! But it's a little cold out there right now.
Whoopee, I can't wait to get my very own Lawson Christmas Letter!
:-)

Anonymous said...

Were you talking about me?

Viv said...

Loved the first card, too funny!
Looking forward to the second. I will send ya my e-mail. I feel all guilty making ya spring for $0.41, being a newbie reader on ur blog and all :-)

Anonymous said...

BHAAAA HUMBUG......

Bethiej said...

Oh I definitely needs a Lawson's Christmas letter!

molly said...

amy-

Thanks so much for for your comments on our blog! Kate says your a hoot - can't wait to get to know you!

mary said...

what's wrong anonymous? do you need to talk?

Chana & Fred said...

I just love your blog. Love peeing my pants every day when I read it!
I totally want a Christmas card if you'll send one!
Check your email!

MB said...

I want a Christmas Letter. I would send you my real address 'cause I'm not afraid of you coming to peek in my windows (I live on the third floor) but I have sympathy for the poor mailman this time of year so I'll be happy with the e-mail version. I will send my e-mail to your e-mail and hopefully follow the directions so I will be sure to receive the Lawsons' Second Annual Christmas Letter. I can't wait! Santa is coming, Santa is coming ...