November 11, 2007
It's no secret, I stink at sending thank you notes. Just ask anyone who's ever given me a gift. I get the gift, I love the gift, it changes my life and I vow to treasure if for time and all eternity--but the giver will probably never know, because I'll likely never tell them.
My mother, on the other hand, will send a thank you note to the bank teller who let her borrow a pen to fill out a deposit slip.
I'm a total and utter disgrace.
I'd like to take this opportunity to send some overdue thank you messages to friends and loved ones across the map:
To Aunt Cheryl: Thank you for the ten zillion generous gifts you've sent to me, Jared and James. I sure hope that the thank you emails expressed my gratitude sufficiently. I love you even more than I love skipping church.
To Aunt Jill: I love all of the outfits you buy for James from Lord & Taylor. I like to dress him in your high-end gifts on Wednesdays. It's his cleanest day of the week.
To Lynda: I honestly can't remember if I ever sent a grateful little note for James's hand sewn Spiderman vest and hat, but he loves them both. He's under the impression that the vest makes him run faster and jump higher. I'm like, "believe whatever you want to, kid!"
To Mrs. Ward: I sincerely hope that I sent you a thank you note for the graduation check. You really didn't have to send that, but I sure did appreciate it. We used it to pay for a lovely post-graduation date at a trendy Thai restaurant. I wish you had been able to come to dinner with me that night, because those fresh rolls gave Jared the farts something wicked. That wouldn't have happened to you.
To Jared's entire extended family: Sorry if you never received a thank you note for the wedding gifts that you sent. The notes were Jared's responsibility, so it's his fault. Take it up with your nephew.
To my faithful blog readers everywhere: Thanks a million for your votes in the recent Weblog Award Contest. I ended up placing a very respectable sixth in the funniest blog competition. Barring the fact that six is the devil's number, it's not a bad place to end up as a newbie blogger.
Next year, I hope to take sixth place in the national presidential election. I'll be sure to keep you posted on my progress.