The Aftermath

December 11, 2007

Wow. Sore is not the word to describe the way my body is feeling after this marathon. I am so, totally, beyond sore. I can't say that I've ever been pushed off the roof of a twelve story condominium building surrounded by concrete slabs, but if I had to guess, this is strikingly similar to how the aftermath would feel.

I should also mention that my mind is completely fried, and I'm not sure that I'll ever be funny again. We'll see.

Unfortunately, my sense of humor has been replaced with a dreadful dose of crankiness. I have been temporarily transformed into the biz-nitchy neighbor who lets her dog poop in the middle of the sidewalk, doesn't even think about picking it up*, and spends twenty-three hours a day wearing pink curlers and a ratty-old, terrycloth bathrobe.

For example, last night, when he refused my order to fetch the remote, I called Jared a "flaming bag of hooker poop." As creative as that line may be, it's really very mean. Thankfully, he laughed and thought that I was kidding. Unfortunately, I was not. And now I'm just ashamed.

Hopefully I'll be back to my normal old self by tomorrow. After all, we're moving across the country next week, and I should be packing right now. So far, I've managed to pack six cotton balls, one package of mechanical pencils, and two hooded sweatshirts. I've really got to pick up the pace.
*I would never actually leave a poo on the sidewalk. I pride myself on being the very best pooper scooper in this whole dang neighborhood.

16 comments:

Jess said...

Cotton balls, pencils, sweatshirts, what more do you need in your new home?

akshaye said...

the humor is still alive n well!

wow.. thats some heavy duty packing you got done.. now its just the little stuff!

hope the soreness gets better

The One and Only Tigger said...

Your blogs are always so enlightning. Sorry about your body being sore, but your humor has not left, it might be on vacation for a short wile, but you still got it.
That is enough packing, leave the rest for the new home occupant. They can do your laundary and send it to you. You can also buy everything else new when you get to your new house.

Bahston Beans said...

Why is the poo in a bag? Was it left over from ding dong ditch?

Melinda said...

Oh, I'm so sorry! I just got done with the packing and moving stuff!

chattypatra said...

Moving and packing are nightmares for me. I never know where to start and what to pack first. Ugh.

Grandma said...

Where can you get the world's biggest Rubbermaid tote? You could toss it all in and deal with it when you get here!

Anonymous said...

you want more cheese with your wine?????????

Amy said...

Sure, that would be fantasic Anonymous! Why don't we just go for a 26 mile jaunt together and we'll have it as our post run snack!

Oh, and while you're at it, come up with some new material. You used this one two weeks ago...and you spelled it wrong that time, too!

If you're going to be a troll, at least be a witty troll. Geeze.

Heather said...

Pack the nick-nacky first, pictures, stuff that sits on shelves, etc. Then just do one drawer at a time. I get really overwhelmed with stuff like this but I tell myself -- it's just one drawer, ONE drawer. Just take it one drawer at a time. Just like the marathon, right? One mile at a time. You'll be back to your old self in no time!

Charlotte said...

As a physical therapy student (2nd year) I would recommend Biofreez. It is a topical agent simular to Icyhot that feels good instead of burning.

Jon (Charlotte's husband)

Sue said...

Hey, trolls are proof of your popularity. EMBRACE the TROLL!

Hope you are feeling 100% non-sore very soon. Don't get funnier though, it makes the rest of us look bad. ;>

Viv said...

Aw, Amy hope you recover soon. Man, you have to pack too. U can do it!
Good news is your heading back, TX will miss ya.

Rob & Katy said...

anonymous=LAME.

Jes said...

The flaming bag of hooker poop line had me rolling with laughter! Thank you! And I hope you feel better soon!

beth said...

Ummm, the best poop picker upper except when Gracie makes a beyond gross squirty poop...in which case I've seen you perform a number of grammy award winning fake pickups. Seriously folks. She could have an acting career in addition to her fabulous blogging.