Just a Few Things

December 4, 2007

Just a few things before I leave for my t-shirt shopping extravaganza (I'm looking for the perfect, new shirt for my race this weekend)...

Last night, Jared admitted to me that the term "swass" is as much of a Lawson original as the cinnamon raisin bagel. Turns out, he didn't make it up--he got it from his crazy-ass, red-headed friend Lehi. I feel really, really let down by this turn of events because the first time Jared used the word "swass" my face lit up, I gave him an enormous hug, and I was like, "Oh my gosh! You thought of something funny! BY YOURSELF!" No wonder he claimed it as his own.

Also, I'd like to point out that shower heads serve one purpose only--showering. Last night, as I was rinsing off, Jared walked into the bathroom and we started to chat. This is how it went...

Amy: Do you ever like to power wash your teeth in the shower?

Jared: What do you mean?

A: Like this.

I clenched my teeth together and opened my lips as wide as I could. Then, I balanced on my tippy-toes, and positioned my teeth about one quarter of an inch away from the shower head.

A: See, if you hold your teeth that close you get a lot of water pressure. It knocks all the gunk off and makes your teeth extra smooth and silky. You should try it.

J: Amy, that's not power washing your teeth, that putting your mouth on the shower head.

That's when I started to get defensive.

A: NO IT'S NOT!!!! THIS is putting your mouth on the shower head!

And then I put my mouth completely around the shower head.

While the shower was running.

And then I almost died.

Trust me guys, I will never complain about lousy water pressure, ever again. Water pressure, I've learned, is a relative term.

29 comments:

Charlotte said...

Thank you, again, for a good gut-bustin' laugh first thing in the morning. I will never look at shower heads the same...

Brad and Becks said...

Oh man...did it come out your nose? I hate that. PS to all of you blog fans....Amy's birthday is tomorrow. wish her a good one!!!! Love ya Amy!

Tina said...

Too stinking funny girl!

Jess said...

I've heard of some creative uses for a shower head, but putting it in your mouth is new to me.

Bahston Beans said...

Okay, now it's clear. Swim lessons for James will start with the basics...don't try to inhale/swallow/consume the water.

cassie said...

hey there love your blog! and yes my best friend's brother in law is Steve Sonnenberg- small world!

Melinda said...

I'm so glad you escaped death by water pressure!

Anonymous said...

Happy b-day amy:)


p.s. how old will you be?

RunningCrazyAfter3 said...

I am so glad you said teeth...and mouth......

Vanilla said...

Smooth move Amy. LMAO at this post.

Hilary said...

You are a master of mental images. Thanks for the belly laugh. :) And Happy Almost Birthday.

Charlotte said...

Okay, so in the shower this morning, I just couldn't resist the urge to power-wash my teeth... that is the weirdest sensation I've ever had.

I did, however, have no trouble resisting the urge to eat the shower head. Thanks for the warning.

Happy b-day tomorrow!

Cara said...

I'm new to your blog, but it is great! Vanna White wrote about the "shower water pick" in her autobiography in the early 90's. (Please do not ask me how I know this) I have been doing it since I was tall enough to reach. I've just never been brave enough to talk about it until now :) I will, however, remember not to take it too far :) Hilarious.

chattypatra said...

I need to try that. Thanks for the tip...and the warning!

Cheryl said...

Hilarious! I, too, have powerwashed my teeth in the shower, but never tried to eat the shower head! You crack me up.

J~mom said...

I am way too short for that. LOL!!

Mel said...

Too bad you didn't drop me a line before this. I have actually done this myself...and I'm brave enough to admit it.

It's NOT pretty or fun, but very funny when someone else does it.

-Mel

Anonymous said...

i <3 calvin and hobbes tina

Grandma said...

ugh..another Amy move.As your mother, I am asking you not to do that again-atleast until you have better health insurance!

The One and Only Tigger said...

That is great, you are so descriptive and willing to admit it. You now have clean teeth and clean tonsoles.

Patty said...

I thought your blog was getting ready to turn Rated XXX when I saw you mention shower heads.

Only you would figure out that shower heads can be used as a teeth whitening device! Maybe one day you'll figure out the *real* purpose of a shower head. LMAO.

katieo said...

Happy Happy Birthday Amy Dear...

(I do the power wash too.)

akshaye said...

yea.. those shower heads need to come with instructions!

Happy B'day for tomorrow!! You're just a day away from mine (thats a clue to wish me... I don't believe in leaving hints :)

Jes said...

Oh thank you so much for that laugh. I needed it!

CollegeGirl said...

HAHAHAHAHA!

Anonymous said...

patty-why did you think that the blog would suddenly turn xxx reted because of shower heads?

Sue said...

Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Glad you survived.

Mrs. Furious said...

I have never forgotten that Vanna White recommended using the shower as a waterpik in some interview in the 80s... so of course I do!

Michemily said...

Next you could try a fire hose. :)