A Few Items of Business

January 23, 2008

I’ve got a few items of business to cover on this lovely winter morning.

First, I’d like to say hello to all of my new readers and commenters out there. It’s really very nice to see a few new faces in those tiny little boxes next to the comments. I’ve noticed that you all have exceptionally nice hair. Keep up the good work.

Second, I’d like to say hello to all of my old cyber friends out there. I’m sorry if it seems like I’ve lost touch lately—I have. Tragically, I’m without an internet connection at home these days. It’s absolutely horrible and I can barely believe it myself. In order to read and post blogs I’ve been sitting in my station wagon, in the dead of winter, in the parking lot of a Chinese restaurant, poaching their wireless signal. To top it all off, my laptop battery carries about thirty-three minutes on a full charge.

Before you get carried away with your crying, I’m happy to inform you that there is hope—we found a house, and our offer has been accepted. It’s a nice house, suitable for grown-ups, and we’re very excited about it. This place has a dishwasher that works, windows that open and close, and enough wall space for my impressive collection of Beyonce posters—because she really is bootylicious. It also has a nice, sturdy garage that will suitably protect my ’89 Blazer from the harsh winter elements, and a finished basement that tends to bring Hell to mind. You know—dark wood paneling from the ‘70’s, bright red carpet, and the creepiest looking wood stove you’ve ever seen. When we were looking at the house, the agent was like, “What do you think of the woodstove?” And I was all, “Uuummmm. It looks like something out of the scary part of a Disney movie. Like you could throw all of the misbehaving furniture into it.” He looked at me with a very confused expression and replied, “So you don’t like it then?” And I was like, “No. Why would you think that? I totally like it.”

And finally, this is the last item of business on my list today. Please note, that even in the most casual of offices, it is never appropriate to sign emails to your boss’s boss with the terms “Stay Cool” or “Over and Out.” Although I haven’t received confirmation on this, I feel it’s safe to assume that you should avoid the phrase “Smell Ya Later” as well.

Have a great one, troops!

19 comments:

Hilary said...

Congrats on the house. That wood stove sounds like a future photo blog post to me.

akshaye said...

Congrats on the house! You didn't really send that email did you?!

Taryn said...

Congrats on the house! Very exciting!

Heidi said...

Oooh, a grown-up house! You have graduated to grown-up status now.

That's a sad, sad day. But congratulations!

Bahston Beans said...

Finished basement?! Can we move in?

Mindy said...

So, are you saying that long time readers DON'T have nice hair? ;)

Smell ya later!

Vanilla said...

Also try to avoid ending important e-mails with Word to your motha'.

January said...

Amy, I'm so excited for you guys! A house! Yay! So, I guess the 23 minutes of battery charge isn't enough time to email me back? ;-) Maybe you just got hungry...the smell of fried rice and rat from the Chinese buffet was just to much..you had to get you some!

Cheryl said...

Woo-hoo! A real house -- Hooray for you guys! Best to keep that scary hideous woodstove for now. They come in really handy in a power outage, ice storm, or when fuel oil is over $3.00 a gallon (like now).

chattypatra said...

Enjoy your bootylicious new house!
I'm glad the windows open and close without a problem. Please let us know what happens when you decide to try the wood stove. Can't wait to hear about it!

Thanks, from,

Miss Very Pretty Hair. :)

The Roberts' Report said...

Super-de-duper! Horray a house for the lawson clan...
Are you sure it doesn't come with some sort of striper poll? I'm sure Jared would LOVE one of those!

Catherine M. said...

Hooray! I miss you guys.

Grandma said...

did you try the rabbit ears on the laptop?

Grandma said...

p.s. thief! I wondered where my Beyonce posters went!

P.O.M. said...

Dannnnnnnnnnnng - a real house? Luckyyyyy.

You can say "peace. out." I think bosses like that.

And Grandma (above) is seriously funny.

J~mom said...

Congrats on the house! You could sell that stove and make some serious cash on ebay! Ok, then you would have to ship it, never mind.

Kadi, John and girls said...

So..... My only question , Is the House in Maine?

Amy said...

Kadi...Yup, it's totally in Maine! We won't be in your ward, but we won't be far either! We'll see a whole lot of you :o)
I'll email you with the details!

Julianne said...

An trailer by the sea in the Keys. That's all I need.