January 15, 2007
Well that’s a lot of letters behind my husbands name, huh? Pretty freakin’ impressive if I do say so myself. Jared’ not just a Doctor of Chiropractic anymore, he’s also earned his license and credentials as a full-time Stay at Home Dad. As of yesterday, I’ve become an all-American working mom, and until he gets his practice up and running, Jared is holding down the fort and staying home with James.
Yesterday was our first day of this arrangement and I’ve got to admit that Jared is kicking my mother-lovin’ trash in the housespouse department. I came home last night to find a clean child, clean laundry, clean dishes, and a low-fat/high-fiber dinner on the table. Jared, on the other hand, used to come home to a pile of dirty laundry shoved under the bed, a kid with a majorly plumped up diaper, a personal pizza in the toaster oven, and a wife with one very well-crafted excuse.
To cap it all off, Jared voluntarily moved ‘Potty Training’ to the top of his to-do list. I really do love this man.
Life has taken a dramatic change of direction in the last week or so. I’ve graduated from my former role as a babysitter, and I’m currently working as the affordable housing director for a small, off-beat, coastal town. It’s day two on the job, and so far I’m settling in quite nicely. I should also note that I was required to wear a hardhat to several job sites today. I was unaware that hardhats were a part of the job, so when my boss handed me that yellow piece of plastic beauty—I swear on my hamster’s grave—I just about crapped my pants.
I love hardhats, and it's always been a dream of mine to wear one to work. I was so excited about my new equipment, that I actually wore the hat in my car as I drove to the first construction site. Every time I stopped at an intersection I’d look at a pedestrian...or a stop sign...or a stray dog, I’d point to my hat, and confidently nod my head as I mouthed the words “It’s a hardhat b*tch.”
I’ve been out of the workforce for almost three years now, so I really wasn't sure what to expect when I stepped into town hall yesterday morning. The closest thing I have to recent work experience is the fact that I’m a big fan of the show The Office. And for all of you fellow Office fans out there, I’m please to let you know that we also have an administrative assistant named Pam. The Pams look nothing alike, and my Pam happens to be a lesbian—but other than that, they’re totally the same.
So that's my job in a nutshell. Perhaps later in the week I'll tell you about Dennis. He's an old bearded man who wears flannels, jean, and suspenders and has a ridiculous obsession with celebrity gossip. His obsession includes--but is not limited to--the cosmetic procedures that stars have had and should have. Honestly, I had no idea about Meg Ryan's botched lip job until today--poor thing.